Apology To The Ladies

Okay, I have an apology to make. To all the ladies that were offended by my 'coffee' signature line, I apologize. I only meant it as a little off-humor, though it has been brought to my attention that it was not taken as so. It has been removed and will be replaced by something different and better.

I would have changed it sooner, though been working at a new job and didn't have the time. Hope all is forgiven. Thanks for the understanding.

Tailor

 

No thanks needed Tracy. It was just an attempt at some weird humor that backfired due to my vast amounts of dry wit so it needed to be changed.

Also, if you see me at a Starbucks, it's not because I am there of my own volition. Someone kidnapped me. I wouldn't be caught there. Can't stand their coffee. I would rather go to a 7-11 for my coffee.

And I assure you that I am not a monster that would practice that type of behavior. Maybe you can chalk it up to my having a temporary case of anal-cranial inversion.

Thanks for the congrats. Will post about the job soon.

 

Tailor, I'm not of the female gender, but I don't even recall what that signature line was.

As far as Starbucks coffee goes, I'm in full agreement with your opinion of it. I was traveling up I-77 in West Virgina and stopped in one of the rest areas on the turnpike. It was late in the evening and I had, "miles to go before I sleep", saw a Starbucks in there so I got my first cup of their coffee. Worst cup of coffee I even had in my life and I drink gallons of the stuff. Love coffee. I'll go without before I'll ever intentionally buy another cup of that sh!t.

 

Never been to one but I do sometimes like the bottled mochas and such that they sell at the stores with their name on it.

 

Maybe that's the problem I have with it, learned to drink coffee Navy style! I just asked for and expected a regular cup of coffee, was I ever shocked to get what I did.

 

In response to whether this is an apology thread, yes it started as one, though apologies are either accepted or not and as such, I see that I have been forgiven and wouldn't want all the extra space to go to waste so we can turn it into a coffee discussion.

First I like to say that I do not like Starbucks for a few reasons. I can't get a cup of regular joe in there without some kind of crappy flavoring, twist of lime or such such bull. Another thing is the prices. I don't care if that little monkey chewed on the seeds, popped them out and you gathered them to make me a nice cup of coffee. It's crap and crap should be bought at crap prices. Starbucks is to coffee as Gap is to jeans. High prices for the same quality you can find everywhere else.

As far as getting the beans and doing your own, well you can get the beans cheaper at most other places. I also like to know what I am funding and with Starbucks there is no bit of telling. Can't find out who they are friendly to or nothing like that. I have to be careful of who gets my money as they could very well use it against me or those people who are like me. Would hate to be contributing to the Liberal fund, ya know?

I'm just a type of person that can get quite a fix from going down to the dollar store and buying a big can of either Folgers or Maxwell House, though if in southern states where I can get it, I get Community. Those are the coffees that I grew up on and I like them pretty good.

Now for a funny coffee story.

'Sludge'

I was at Job Corps, which for those that don't know is a place much like a live-in vocational school for dropouts. I had dropped out of school and wanted to get a skill that was useful so I went. There we stayed in dorm rooms and went to classes, I to a HEO (Heavy Equipment Operators) class.

We had a coffee pot in our room and some of the guys worked in the kitchen so we could keep a supply of coffee. One night we all stayed up late as we had exams the next day and we were studying for them. Everyone knows coffee will help keep you awake. Haha. So we made some and pretty soon the effects were wearing off. You can make it as strong as you like though it won't do much different.

I think we had it as strong as possible. So to add some kick to it we decided to experiment. We took the filter and filled it halfway up with regular coffee and the rest of the way up with instant cofee. Put that puppy on to brew and bingo, we came out with 'sludge'. Sludge was basically a very potent hybrid ooze that would wake up the dead after a mouthful.

We each drank half a cup and had no problems with sleeping in class or for the rest of the night. We aced our exams and had no problems, other than one guy. I guess he couldn't handle it and started talking to his be post as though it were family or something. I think the poor kid was wacked out of his mind to begin with, though that coffee surely didn't help matters.

So that's the story of the 'Sludge'. Try it if you dare. Though don't look to hold me liable for the consequences.

 

Okay, I will post this. I almost forgot of another coffee story. Can't forget to tell yall about the....

'Cowboy Coffee'

So here I was staying the night at a friends house and also staying over that night was an old alcoholic that was sweet on the friend's mother. He thought himself the cowboy to beat all cowboys. You know how liquid courage can affect morons. Well anyways, there we were all peaceable in bed and then the morning rolls around, which was about 5a for me.

I got up and went to the kitchen where the 'cowboy' was putting a coffee pot on the fire to get it going. Seemed like the lady of the house had already set it up the night before as it was pretty hefty in weight. This pot was a silver perculator type that you see in most country kitchens. Though I did think it strange that she didn't use the Mr. Coffee sitting next to the stove.

So we are sitting there waiting for the pot to heat up and he is regailing me with stories of the olden days and what it means to be a true cowboy and that basically meant him dancing in bars with women that would make a freight train take a dirt road and his working at the livestock sale barn.

He was a very short man, shorter than my five and a half foot height and skinny as a rail to boot. He wore old beat up black boots and a straw cowboy hat. His face was a rather leathery thing to see though I think it more from his time in bars as opposed to his time in the weather.

Well coffee is done and he gets up to make us a couple of cups. I tell him I take mine light and sweet so he mixes it up and takes his black. Setting the cups back on the table he starts in again with more stories.

I briefly wonder what type of coffee the lady uses as I have never smelled anything like it before. It's sort of weird looking as well. Like weak coffee though with a stranger color to it. The smell reminded me of camping on a river bank and I find out why in just a few minutes.

So the 'cowboy' grabs up his cup in mid-sentence and at first what came next I thought was an expression in his story, though I soon knew better. The little man let loose a string of expletives and while holding his lips tight together in the same as anyone not wanting to spray stomach fluid everywhere made his way to the sink. While a little green around the gills he spit it all into the sink and started cussing more.

At that point I didn't even want to taste my coffee if that was the cause of his outburst, so I just calmly asked him what was wrong, then it hit me. The smell of the coffee was none other than the smell of fish. That's right folks, the lady kept that coffee pot on her stove and stored old grease in it. Ol' cowboy thought it was coffee and when he took that big swig out of it and found it's true contents, well that surprised him to say the least.

I have learned from that day on that no little silver coffee pots that are already filled will be taken for granted to contain coffee. If I didn't see you make it, or make it myself, I won't be drinking anything that comes forth.

Now I know why that Mr. Coffee had a slight grin on it's plastic face. It knew the tale that would one day be told of the 'Cowboy Coffee'.

 

Caffeine is the best drug in the world!


Oh, and TMH? They have Community Coffee here...it's sometimes packaged as C&C coffee also....Originally from Lousianna.....It has some chicory in it and for an inexpensive coffee , it's pretty damn good!

I'm not overly fond of Starbucks...I prefer Seattles Best if I'm going for the higher end coffee....

Or ck out :

http://www.ravensbrew.com/ Really fantastic coffee! And not a bad price...

I used to have it shipped to me from Costa Rica...some good coffee there too...

I'm serious about my coffee...and my tequila....

 

Then why does it taste different?? and it's cheaper? Lower end beans?

I get my coffee from RavensBrew , but when I stop, I don't drink any of those mixed coffee drinks that are sweet and syrupy...just a large dark with some half & half , please......