Motivational Poster Thread (warning content)

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, “Oh, you look about 29”. “I’m really 47!”, he says, feeling better than ever. Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age.” As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, “Okay, it’s done. You are 47.” Stunned, the man says, “That was brilliant. How did you do that?” The old lady replies, “I was standing behind you at McDonalds.”

 

Casper The American Farm Bureau’s “Farm Dog of the Year” - The Tucson Dog

 

That is one fine dog! Casper deserves a good rare steak dinner for his bravery and dedication to duty. I hope he can still breed. Those are genes well worth passing on!

 

I live with his sister "Claws"
and she is no pussy , all C**
Sloth

 

That was me in the early 1980s. In 1984 my Navy ship in drydock in Charleston, SC sent me to a tech school in Mare Island, Cal. I had 8 days travel time. I made the trip coast-to-coast in two and a half days, running my 1975 Firebird at 80+ MPH most of the way on I-10. Got one speeding ticket in Baton Rouge, La. Cop clocked me on radar at 70MPH, as I had seen him and started slowing, but not quickly enough.
Later I was cruising 80 down I-10 in Cali, and approached a brown Fox Body Mustang. Whoa, I slowed down, he was CHP! But as I hadn't passed him, he just cruised along with me behind like a good sheeple. Had fun that period - two 2-month courses in Navy Crypto with a two week leave for Christmas between. Spent some time home in Florida on each leg. I drove coast-to-coast, out and back, twice! 8 days travel time and a bunch of travel pay each leg. I figure I put on nearly 10,000 miles and made about $2,500 travel pay all told. And yep, I had the Smokey&The Bandit soundtrack casette playing much of the time. Funnest time of my life.
Funny, the Navy tightened up travel time and pay limits after that.

 

As if it was possible....