Three blonds were all applying for the last available detective position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?' The blonds all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, 'To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth.' So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blond and withdrew it after about two seconds. 'Now, ' he said, 'did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?' The blond immediately said, 'Yes, I did. He has only one eye!' The detective shook his head and said, 'Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!' The first blond hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blond, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, 'What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?' 'Yes! He only has one ear!' The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, 'Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!' The second blond sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blond and said, 'This is probably a waste of time, but...' He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, 'All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?' The blond said, 'I sure did. This man wears contact lenses .' The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blond with a puzzled expression and said, 'You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture? ' The blond rolled her eyes and said, 'Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.'
Might be. Then again, might be trying really brunette thinking to come up with something harsh -- (The scatter shield has been deployed --)
A little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away. There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself." "What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police." the little old lady repeated. "Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?" says the operator. "Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing somebody!"
