Moose Adventures

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In the name of the Unitd States of American, I claim this as a U.S. Territory

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08 Aug 2012

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Here I am with my own Camp Perry Shooting Team. What an Experience!

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07 Aug 2012

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Came across this 1956 photo of my dad, Master Sgt Moose Sr., USMC Rifle Team at Camp Perry

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07 Aug 2012

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On my journey, I encountered a strange tribe of pygmy's who seemed both fascinated and repulsed by my ventilation hole. One little gnome was so curious, he actually tried to climb through and almost made it but got stuck half in and half out, unable to move in either direction. much to the amusement or possibly the horror of his companions. I imagine it appeared much like a scene from "Alien." Much to my dismay, they all tried poking and tickling him so that he would squirm loose which was quite painful for my poor gut. Eventually, the witch doctor (who looked startlingly like Gene Simmons) appeared and fed the boy a potion that made his body go slack and simply slide to the ground. Much like giving birth, I believe. I'll have to ask Momma about that the next time I see her.

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05 Aug 2012

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I've always wanted to ride a bucking bronco. At the moment, the reason for this escapes me.

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05 Aug 2012

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I decided that if Condoms R Us is going to be successful, I really need more business education and what better place is there then that liberal bastion Yale. I've been trying to get an athletic scholarship based on my skill in so many sporting events but to date, my requests for free money have gone unanswered. I'm sure, however, that Mr. Obama will be happy to subsidize this endeavor since, strictly speaking, I'm an alien. I have a fishing license but that's it, no papers.

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05 Aug 2012

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I forgot to tell you that my primary reason for the India trip was to cheer on Mother Theresa when she received her Nobel Prize. What a thrilling moment. I wonder how much that little medal is worth? I tried to convince her to invest in my United States chain of Condoms R Us but she didn't seem too keen on the idea. Just kept muttering something about the Holy Sea. I'm not sure where the Holy Sea is but she sure does seem to think it has a lot of power. Maybe there is a hydro plant there. Not sure what that has to do with an investment but she may want to put her money into something more liquid

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05 Aug 2012

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I've been so involved in water sports lately, I decided that I really wanted to try running the Iditarod so training must begin now. Sure do feel sorry for my black husky though, his scene never changes

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05 Aug 2012

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I have to tell you, my friends, there is nothing quite like being there and since I'm a big entertainment fan, I like watching too, just like Chance. Gotta get me a moosette

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05 Aug 2012

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[FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=#000000]Found a very lovely female TSA agent. I let her touch anything she wanted! Those drinks sure look refreshing but its going to be a long flight so I better pace myself or I'll end up like the gal across the aisle. I wonder if it was the Burka the TSA agent was wearing that made her seem a little stand offish. I just couldn''t see her smile. She never mentioned the word gamey once. [/COLOR][/FONT]

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05 Aug 2012

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[FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=#000000]Get me outta here before this Michael Jackson wanna be get his mitts on my privates. Nuf said[/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT]

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05 Aug 2012

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I've been having a particularly strong sweet tooth of late and nothing seems to satisfy my craving but a big, sweet, sticky bun. their coffee is menza menza but the donuts are indeed food for the gods but I'm a purist so I don't dunk my donuts

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05 Aug 2012

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I don't usually talk about this painful period in my life but yes, I was one of the original Kisses. In fact, it was my idea to hide our identities with makeup. I figured that no one was be able to distinguish one member from the other, all the egos would be kept in check. You know that old saying that some pigs are more equal than others? Well, the same can be said about Kisses. I was clearly the most talented member of the ensemble which resulted in a lot animosity from the other Kisses. I was the silk to their hemp and they all knew it. Eventually,I got the big Kiss off by none other than the big Kisser himself, Gene. We haven't spoken in years after that particularly crude smack in the face.Oh, I still hum a tune now and then but it's just not the same as when you have 5 Kisses in one. Life goes on

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05 Aug 2012

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I've been promising myself a trip to Mardi Gras. I just had to be part of the debauchery at least once in my lifetime. The music, the food, the colors, the bare breasts

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05 Aug 2012

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Back to my roots! I need a daily espresso in order to get the old gut functioning. TGFS (thank God for Starbucks)

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05 Aug 2012

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I keep returning to the water sports - it must be in my genes. I have heard that others in my family actually wade through rivers and swamps eating (ugh) what grows there. Haven't these people ever heard of steak?

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05 Aug 2012

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There is no way I could explain the beauty that even the ugliest God-forlorn city takes on when viewed from 2,000 feet, away from the sounds and smells. The only downside for me was a most uncomfortable burner butt episode. Better to hang half out of the basket, holding on for dear life, than back into that seering flame that makes it a hot air balloon. If I had been able to find a cold air balloon, I probably would have been able to take a seat at dinner instead of standing up at the bar. I did meet a few cuties though but then the gamey word came up again. Maybe I need to see a doctor for more than the propane flame induced hemorroidal pain.

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05 Aug 2012

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Really wanted to go the the Taj Mahal, the palace of love but I was getting nauseous in the back of that cab with the towel head driver playing chicken with everyone else on the road, the 200 degree heat, this fur coat, the smells (ugh) Maybe that's what gamey smells like. Good golly, I hope not. Anyway, when the driver slowed enough to take the corner on two wheels, I threw open the door and made a dive for the ground. Escape was my only option. but that little brown man blew a "U"ey and tried to run me down, screaming something unintelligible about rupees - illiterate little gnome doesn't even know it's pronounced "rufies" and anyway, I have no rufies. I ran as fast as I could toward the river where I planned to swim to safety but seeing the odd brown floaters in the water, I decided to just make a run for it. The closest place he couldn't get to with his little cab was at this Shiva Statue so that is where I found a safe haven from the mad cabbie

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05 Aug 2012
F. Ticious, Aug 5, 2012
Seacowboys likes this.
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