A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Miller High Life on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments. He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be". The priest replies, "Get out, you jerk . You're on my side".
A drunk goes into the confessional box, and after a long wait, the priest decides to prompt him, and taps on the wall to announce he is waiting, The drunk says "Don't bother knocking, there's no paper over here either."