TALES FROM THE WILD These are actual comments left on Forest Service comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips: * "A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call." * "Escalators would help on steep uphill sections." * "Instead of a permit system for hikers, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness." * "Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands." * "Found a smouldering cigarette left by a horse." * "Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill." * "Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests." * "Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter." * "Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them." * "The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals." * "Need more signs to keep area pristine." * "A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead." * "The places where trails do not exist are not well marked." * "Too many rocks in the mountains."