Original Work Barry The Fairy.

I was thinking a dusty cardboard box with Karen Nesby's name printed on it, which she will claim of course. As Karen Nesby picks it up the bottom comes open dumping the contents on the ground in front of everyone. Maybe very large sex toys and some really kinky porn videos.  It's a small town, everyone will know before sunset. 

 

LOL!

 

Barry arose earlier than normal for him. There had been enough traffic on the road to keep him from sleeping well. Figuring that some of the locals had been up to something he decided to be ready for any dawn shenanigans that the Nesbys or deputies might be up to. No actions occurred, so when it became daylight, he walked the perimeter and found where Karen had emptied a couple of garbage cans over the fence. He knew it was her because she had foolishly left some mail addressed to her. It was a messy nuisance, so he took photos for documentation and continued on around the fence and found a couple of strands that had been cut, all of it on Karen’s property line. Fetching a shovel and rake he returned to the garbage site and stood there a moment looking at it wondering how he was going to deal with the idiots he was facing. Noticing that the wind was at his back and that some of the paper had blown back onto Karen’s property, it gave him inspiration. He scooped up a shovel full of trash and swung it in the fashion of spreading gravel and the trash was caught by the breeze and carried deep into Karens property. Moving up and down the fence line Barry spread every bit of the garbage he could back onto her property. It was a proper mess, and he knew she would explode when she saw it. Laughing, he then went and checked his driveway and found an assortment of nails and tacks strewn about. He spent the next half hour picking up the hazards and even found some buried point up in the gravel. Karen had left a small hand print in the dirt so he photographed that also.

Next he walked around his truck and saw that a small board with nails pointing straight up had been placed against two tires so he’d get a flat the next time he moved the truck.. No sugar in the tank and he could find nothing wrong under the hood.

Now I wonder what that lardassed deputy is up to? He thought. Taking a pair of binoculars with him, Barry eased along on his property hidden by vegetation and checked the road fronting his land. Down the road and slightly around the bend, Barry noticed part of a police light bar exposed to view. Continuing down hill Barry stayed in the woods unseen until he reached a point where he could see inside the patrol car. And yes, you guessed it, there sat Barney/Fred munching on a pastry and throwing the napkins on the ground. The slob is a litter bug too! Thought Barry. He pulled his phone to take a photo of Fred when he heard a plane passing overhead. Fred stuck his head out to watch it, and from Barrys angle it appeared that Fred was sleeping with an arm outside the vehicle holding a donut . Never one to pass on an opportunity, Barry took several shots of Fred than returned home. He would send Fred’s photos to the local paper and the Ladies Rotary Club.

No point in leaving home today, as Fred and maybe some others were out to get him thought Barry.

 

Barry thought about his situation and where it was probably headed. He didn’t need this crap, and needed a one shot solution to his problems with Karen and probably the rest of the Nesbys, and the local LEOs. A sheriff had political pull that he could wield in addition to his law enforcement powers. Barry was not in a good place and he knew it. He had to either sell or do something fast as these things tended to accelerate. Why did these people have to be such jerks about everything? It wasn’t like he was coming in here to change everything and wreck their lives! Then bam, Barry had one of them epiphanies! That’s exactly what I’ll have to do, give them a choice of live and let live, or face destruction! I’m too weak to harm them, but who or what isn’t? OK, that would be the government, whether local, state, or Federal. The feds of course had the most power, and would be the most difficult for them to deal with. The EPA is out, the worst they’d do is make a park out of the property or run all of us out. IRS nope. DoD? Nope. I need a Samson situation that would really screw them and cost me little if anything. And then it came to him.

Taking the long way back into town Barry drove slowly just under the speed limit and obeying all traffic laws. He stopped in front of his lawyers office and went in to find him chatting with his legal aid. Sam Turner looked up and smiled when he saw Barry entering the room. Extending his hand Sam said. “Barry, glad to see you! What brings you into town?”

“Well, I have some problems that I need help with.” Barry said as he handed over the bundle of letters that Nesby had given him. “I have something in mind that I will need you present for and to represent me if needed.”

“Come into my office and we can discuss it.” Sam said. “Would you like some coffee?”

Barry nodded and entered the office.

Exiting a long while later, Barry explained that he needed to obtain a burner phone so he could make some anonymous calls and would get back with Sam once he’d lined up what was needed. Trotting up to his truck, Barry headed to the nearest electronics store for what he needed.

“Remember what I told you, buy anything you need with cash in Colorado Springs and never mention this town in your discussions.”

“Gotcha!” Said Barry as he climbed into his truck.

 

Had an old man dying of cancer here that was behind in his taxes but had quite a bit of land. Neighbor set everything up so that when he died he got the place for a little of nothing for back taxes, Well the old man lived quite well for a few years and everyone wondered where the money was coming from. He said he had some old investments that had at last paid off. He up and died at last and the neighbor went to take over his property. Found an illegal dump had been created to fill in a ravine in the back end of the property and several dozen loads of construction waste, including lead paint and asbestos, had been dumped there. Don't know what he charged for a load, but years later they were still in court fighting about who didn't own it, Barry has got a wide open field to work on. Contents of garage, ect.

Enjoying the story and your imagination. Keep it up and thank you.

 

Thanks Duane!


After making his calls and the following discussions, Barry felt like he was in a pretty solid position. All he had to do was pull the trigger and his “Sampson Option” would be irrevocably set off. He hoped that this would never happen, but he had to have the option. Doing as much as he could to assure his security by hiding his identity, Barry drove north out of Colorado Springs until he found a bridge crossing a ravine with swift running water and tossed the burner phone over the side. Continuing north, Barry found a stop n rob, then went in for some burned up coffee. Being pleasantly surprised at the quality, he bought a large coffee then retraced his steps back to Trinidad.

Calling Sam, he was informed that the Sheriff and other parties had agreed to a group meeting in two days. Not perfect, but decent for sure. I can work with that. He thought.

The next two days passed quickly, as he was busy working around the house on needed projects and doing some painting. The early part of the day was punctuated with a smiling Sam Turner holding a newspaper. “Tell me you didn’t do this.” Smiled Sam.

“Do what?” Asked Barry innociently.

A grinning Sam passed Barry the paper, and there on the front page was a picture of Fred looking like he’d called asleep in a patrol car with a donut prominently displayed in his left hand hanging out the window. Passed out from carb overdose! Barry knew that Fred wasn’t sleeping, but he was not about to betray himself, so he looked surprised and burst out laughing.

“Where did you get this?!?!” He asked Sam.

“Like you didn’t know.”

“Honest, this is the first time I’ve seen it. Who took the picture of Barney?” Laughed Barry.

“No one seems to know. Copies were mailed to the Ladies Rotary, the newspaper, the Sheriff, and the Baptist church. ‘Someone’ was out to make sure that Fred was busted and documented. It’s been a while coming, but it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!”

“I’ll have to agree with that. I’m guessing that he’s made a lot of enemies during his time here. Is he related to the Sheriff, and is he mad at Barney?”

“I don’t know, but the Sheriff is a man that likes to be well thought of as any politician would be. Respect is important, and this sure cut into that.”

“I’d guess so chuckled Barry. Did you bring the letter copies and documentation?”

“Sure did. Let’s get on down there and start the fireworks.”

The drive was short and sweet, and most of the Nesbys were standing outside of the Courthouse getting their last smokes in before the meeting started. “Nasty looking bunch” Sam muttered. Barry laughed and replied.

“I’d sure hate to be a mirror in any of those houses, can you imagine having something like that in front of you very day?”

“I’m guessing that they tend to avoid mirrors for the most part.”

Sam parked and they mounted the Courthouse steps where Barry greeted the Nesbys with a smile and friendly “Howdy neighbors, glad you could make it!”

No one wanted to shake his hand, so they filed in to see the County Commishioners, the Sherrif and a visibly upset Fred sitting at a table. Fred rightly figured that Barry was the source of his current problems and all the ribbing he’d taken today. Donuts had been delivered to the S.O. In abundance and his pov had been burgled and more donuts had been stacked inside on the dashboard for all to see. Someone had taken a white shoe polish applicator and written “Duncan Donut’s Emergency Delivery Services” and “We eat all we can and sell the rest (if any!)” on all four sides of his patrol car. Fred was not a happy camper, and behind the Sheriff’s back he glared at Barry with promised retribution in his eyes. Barry just smiled.

“Sheriff, let’s just get down to business none of us seems to enjoy the company of the other. here are copies of letters that Mr. Leroy Nesby asked my client to deliver to his relatives. I believe you have the originals? The one on top is addressed to XXXX, and I will read that to all concerned. Copies have been made and moved to a safe place.” With that Sam, began to reed the letter.

To whom it may concern.

I, Leroy Turner being of sound mind and body have sold all my earthly possessions including 50 Acres of land to one Barry Taylor located at 509 Old Saw Mill Rd. Everything there including the contents of all structures, containers, or any other sort of container are the sole property of Barry Taylor to use or dispose of as he desires.

I have taken my payment of 300,000.00 and left to live out the rest of my life in California or whatever place suits me. I will not be in contact with any of my relatives and do not want them to contact me. You can all go to Hell and welcome to it.

Signed
Leroy Nesby

The crowd sat in silence for a moment then Karen opened her mouth. Pandamonium erupted while Sam and Barry sat back smiling and watching the show.

 

After about 30 seconds of this Smitty pounded his fist on the conference table and roared for order. Glaring at everyone in turn and lingering on Barry. Smitty stated that he’d jail anyone that started trouble, and that quietened down the Nesby tribe.

“I’ve had a long bad day, and this isn’t making it any easier. We will have some decorum during this meeting and get some stuff settled. You, Mr. Taylor, have been nothing but trouble since you hit town, and I don’t think things will get any better with your continued presence. I’m going to investigate this (he briefly looks at Fred) and a few other things that I suspect you’re involved in. If I can prove anything at all, charges will be filed.”

Fred grinned maliciously while nodding his head. Barry looked at Sam, nodding imperceptibly.

“Sheriff, I think I can solve any problems before they arise. Mr. Taylor is a just and generous man, and had no idea that by purchasing the Leroy Nesby land he was getting into a hornets nest. None of this is his doing, and to show good faith, he is willing to let the Nesby family go thru the garage and storage buildings and take what they want. He has no need of family heirlooms, and would feel like a thief if he kept something a family member had an emotional attachment to. Why he mentioned seeing an antique cast iron kettle that would date from at least the 1840’s that he feels should only go to family, and not some stranger. Does voluntarily giving up an antique worth hundreds of dollars sound like a trouble maker to you? It sure doesn’t to me!” He concluded forcefully looking Smitty in the eye.”

Smitty hesitated for only a second before saying “OK, OK, let’s all just settle down and get this deal settled. No sense in pointing fingers until something is known for sure.”

“Smitty, Mr. Taylor is willing, under your supervision, to allow the Nesbys to come onto his property and go thru everything there except the contents of the house, taking what they wish, and he will relinquish any and all claims to whatever is taken away. No questions asked. Also, perhaps if you conducted a lottery draw to decide who gets the most desirable items that might head off any future complaints.”

Smitty looked hard at Sam knowing that he’d be forced to do his duty, and also take Taylor off the hook. Smart move. He thought.

Karen erupted with “300,000.00, you stole that property! I’ll see you in court over this! I’ll keep you there for years you flat land crook! No way were you going to buy me off with some old junk, I’ll sue!”

Several others made the same comments in general, but also accused Karen of trying to get money that they all deserved. Things were getting ugly, but they always did with this family.

“I reckon y’all need to calm down before you bust a gut over this. Ain’t gonna be no lawsuits, harassment, or anything else. I won’t put up with any of that. You need to realize that we will either get along real neighborly like or I’ll end this whole mess quick. You don’t have any say at all in this.” Said Barry.

The infuriated clan exploded over this statement, threatening physical violence, lawsuits, arson and the like. The Sheriff was finally able to restore order while Barry and Sam sat quietly with confident smiles. None of this put him or the commishioners into any better mood.

“Young man, why do you start slinging threats and making it more difficult for Sheriff Smith to conduct business? What do you have to say for yourself Sir?!” Demanded a commissioner.

“Well, I got me one of them Sampson Options that I can use if I don’t get my way, which is to be left alone. Drawled Barry. If these issues aren’t settled tonight, and soon, If I am arrested, harnessed, set up, assaulted, sued, fined, or in any other manner harnessed or made uncomfortable, everyone in this room will wish they hadn’t started with me. I don’t want to do this, it will cost me some money, but I will do it if I am not left alone… and if Barney Fife AKA Fred Cantù isn’t fired from the S.O.”

Everyone but Sam and Barry exploded with indignation, questions, demands, insults and anything one could imagine. It took Sheriff Smitty a couple of minutes to calm down the group enough so that he could be heard.

“Just what do you think you’re going to do Mr. Outsider? You think you can come in here, threatening citizens, the Commishionsers Court, my deputy and myself and get away with it? Do you think we don’t know how to handle your kind? We’ve dealt with some very bad customers in the past and you aren’t even able to make us break a sweat! Sam I can’t believe you came here with this soon to be convict, pulling this crap. Don’t you know you have to live here after we’ve dealt with him?”

“Sheriff, I think you better listen to him before any rash decisions are made. You might find it interesting.” Stated Sam.

“OK Hotrod, let’s hear what you’ve got to say. Maybe you’ll dig yourself in even deeper! Common, out with it!” Declared the Sheriff.

“When I came here, I had no idea that I was headed into a hornets nest, or I’d have never stopped. Then I found out about Leroy’s family and the Sheriff’s sorry deputy. Y’all didn’t leave me much choice so I made a phone call to a certain federal agency, that is in charge of Section 8 housing. I offered to sell my place to them at a discount and for future tax considerations for them to build some of that Section 8 housing seeing as how I was such a Woke land owner. I described the beauty of the place and how all those disadvantaged children and families would love living here in this paradise and bringing diversity to a mostly white environment. Don’t you think they’d be able to bring in a whole bunch of families from Chicago, New York, Detroit, Atlanta and the like? They might be able to get 8-10 families every acre if they stack ‘em right, and I’ve got 50 acres. It might hurt the land prices for a while but they’ll recover…. eventually. But think of the business opportunities coming this way! With everybody coming into town nearly every day, visiting the park, visiting the liquor store n hanging around all the time, wouldn’t that be awesome? Don’t pay no mind to all those urban legends about rape, drugs, burglaries, murder, and the like. They ain’t true. But if they are, the Sheriff gets to hire a whole bunch of deputies in less than a year! Besides, it won’t make any difference, the deal has been decided.”

A stunned silence filled the room. Several commishioners shook and looked at one another, Smitty slumped and rubbed his face, Fred just looked stupid, Karen was doing the guppy with her mouth but no sound came out. Horrors filled faces stared at Barry as he shark smiled back.

“Oh, and don’t get stupid on me. The deal is finalized tonight if I don’t make a phone call in about 15 minutes or so. Got a friend with a power of attorney, if he don’t get that call, he calls my contact and faxes a signed contract to the feds finalizing the deal. You’ll be up to your necks in ghetto youths. Right now, they don’t know where the land is, so if I don’t follow thru with them then no harm done. “ He finished with a smile.

 

Nice, but how long can Barry keep the scare on them? Eventually, somebody is gonna get stupid and come for him, and then Barry is gonna have to do what he dose best...kill'em.

 

When I was a kid in the 1940's in rural Minn I lived on the Bjorn farm. He had homesteaded in in the 1860's or so and his kids sold it in the 1890's, but it was still called the Bjorn farm, My great grand father homesteaded the land next to it and bought it about 1900. A hundred years later it now is called by our family name as we have owned it and lived there for 125 years. Hard to fit into some rural areas and don't expect to buy a piece of land, build your bug out retreat and visit for 2 weeks a year and just go and fit in if TSHTF. Might be just a story but there is a lot of truth in this part and I am waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.

Down in Mass when Fort Devons was still going I knew an old family of "hill billy farmers" who had a wood lot of 640 acres located about 20 miles out of Boston and no desire to sell i. The town it was located in decided on its own to subdivide it into 5 acre house lots and charge property taxes based on that valuation rather than the few hundred dollars tax for the wood lot. They went to court, in the 1970's, and lost. While he appealed it, they went to the state and asked permission under the state to put 1280 trailers on the land for low cost housing for the Army and other low income people, even had a maximum earnings you could have to live there. Town appealed it and the state turned them down on the grounds of "snob" zoning being used to keep the poor out of town. He got a certified letter hand delivered by the Mayor, that a mistake had been made in the zoning, the property was undeveloped and that their tax bill was half of what it had been and the land was not zoned and that all the court cases were thus moot. The trailers could not be put in as the land was not zoned for it. The Mayor, selectmen and police chief were replaced and 1 real estate company closed when the owner "retired". They didn't live in the town so it had no real impact on them. Was good friends with them as they used to butcher my hogs on their farm. I think that if I remember right, one of their ancestors got the land as a grant for fighting in the French and Indian wars. That was in the 1760's. I know of one family still farming in the area who bought the land from the Indians in the 1630's as the English hadn't plotted it out yet and the area was only under their control in theory..