Three ropes walk into a bar. They hop up onto bar stools, one of them hollers, "Bartender, three beers!". The bartender looks over at them and growls, "We don't serve ropes in this bar, get outta here!" Dejectedly they slither off the stools and out the door. But they don't give in to prejudice easily, so they go into the next bar down the street and hop up on bar stools, one of them says, "Bartender, three beers, please!". This bartender looks them over, then he says, "Sorry fellas, I don't serve ropes in my bar". They slither out to the street. Really dejected now, two of them are ready to call it a night and go back to the farm, but the third really wants a beer. So he goes down an alley in back of the next bar, slithers up the wall and into the bathroom window, stands in front of the mirror, and twists around until he has a knot tied near one end, then he leans against the wall and rubs the end with the knot against it, until it looks to him like he has a head and hair. Satisfied with his appearance, he goes into the bar, hops up on a stool and says, "Bartender, how about a beer?". The bartender glances, looks, looks again, says, "Say . . . aren't you a rope?" "Nope, afraid not!"
Set of jumper cables goes into a bar. The barkeep eyes them suspiciously and says, "I guess you can stay, but you better not start anything!"
A man walks into a restaurant. the doorman points at the sign "tie required", and he has none......so he returns to the car and grab the jumper cables and ties and elaborate bow tie around his neck, and returns, as he is famished. The doorman, takes one look and start laughing, and says "I'll give you points for originality, you can stay, but don't start anything."