Or ....."Why do I still live in Florida?? It’s hurricane season again! Monitor developments and take storm prep seriously. See complete details below: Mandatory Evacuation 1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka 1/2 oz. vermouth Clamato Prune juice Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof — even though you’d warned him for months to uproot it — if you can use his bathroom. Repeat. Category 5 1/2 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. tequila 1/2 oz. rum 1/2 oz. bourbon 1/2 oz. gin Sweet-and-sour mix Splash of fruit juice Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1. Cone of probability 1 oz. cinnamon schnapps 1 sugar cone Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, “cone of probability,” bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Bryan Norcross say it, drink two shots consecutively. Feeder band 2 oz. Midori 2 oz. rum 1 scoop vanilla ice cream After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw. Beach erosion 1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger 1 1/2 oz. apple brandy 1 pack Sugar in the Raw Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your ass back to New Jersey where it belongs. Downed power line 1 1/2 oz. rum 5 oz. Jolt Cola Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the hell you’re supposed to go two freakin’ weeks without computer. . Flood zone 2 oz. Kahlúa 2 oz. Baileys Irish cream 4 oz. rum Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop. Cold shower 2 oz. Blue Aftershock 4 oz. Sprite Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat. Looters will be shot 1 oz. Jack Daniel’s Splash of sarsaparilla Rock salt Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel’s and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat. The chain saw 1 oz. Goldschläger 1 oz. Rumplemintz 3 oz. Jim Beam Splash of vermouth Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong. Four-way stop 1 1/2 oz. vodka 1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori 1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano 1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living crap out of him. Blue tarp 1 1/2 oz. Hpnotiq 2 oz. pineapple juice Splash of lime Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you’re impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn’t hurt himself in the process. FEMA fizzle 1 oz. Southern Comfort 2 oz. sloe gin Tonic water One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie. Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, “Doing a heckuva job!”
If you're going to try anything.....Try these shots I had in Atlanta...Apparently they're all the rage in Key West right now...one of the bartenders from Margaritaville is a friend and drove up and was tailgating with us.. Grape Absolut Vodka Red Bull They'll get you going! I promise! Don't think I'd want too many...but dang they're goooood!!!! I was trying to think of something that tasted about the same as Red Bull and all I could come up with was Fresca??? I sooooooo turned down ANY Jaeger bombs.. Blech....
Here you go E.L. Off my other board... Ask Your Doctor or Bartender About Tequila TEQUILA 1.0 oz. (Agave Tequilana) The Safe, Natural and effective way to: Build False Confidence Suppress Chronic Depression Overcome Social Awkwardness Feel Better About Your Inadequacies Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wish to become pregnant and nursing are encouraged to use it liberally. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor skills, loss of pants, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing really bad karaoke and make an ass of yourself in front of strangers.
