Saint Peter was standing at the gate, when he saw Sean O'Grady coming up the path. "Sean", Peter says, "What are you doing here? The book doesn't have you scheduled to be here yet." "Well, Saint Peter", Sean says, "Today when I got off work, I thought that, rather than stopping by the pub, I would go straight home to my apartment and surprise me wife. And surprise her I did!" "There I found here naked as a jay-bird, trying to cover herself with a sheet, and I could tell that there had been another Mac there." So I says to her, "Where is he?" "Well, I saw her look over toward the kitchen by the window, and I says aha." "So I went over to the kitchen window, and what do I see, but another Mac running out the door of my apartment building toward Thirty-Fourth Street and he's pulling up his zipper." "So I looked for the nearest thing that I could drop on him, and I grabbed the refrigerator and pushed it out the window." "But wouldn't you know that as luck would have it, just as the refrigerator was going out the window, the handle grabbed onto my suspenders, pulled me out with it, and here I am." "Well", Saint Peter said, "That sounds innocent enough. Go on through." Just about that time, Patty O'Toole was walking up the path toward the gates. "Patty", Peter says, "What are you doing here? The book doesn't have you scheduled to be here yet." "Well, Saint Peter", Patty says, "It's like this. I was waiting for the bus on Thirty-Fourth Street. But I had been to the pub earlier, and me bladder started telling me that it's time to pay the rent on the beer I'd been drinking. And the tavern was too far away from the bus stop, so I went to an apartment building there and knocked on a few doors until I found a decent fellow that let me use his jon." "Well, that sure took care of the problem, but when I looked out the front door of the building, I saw that my bus was at the stop and was about to leave." "So I started running toward the door, and I realized that me zipper was still down. So I'm running out the door toward the bus, pulling up me fly, and out of the blue a refrigerator lands on me. So here I am." "Well", Saint Peter said, "That sounds innocent enough. Go on through." At about this time, Terry McGowan was walking up the path toward the gates. "Terry," says Saint Peter, "What are you doing here. It's not supposed to be your time, yet." "Well Saint Peter," Terry says, "It's like this." "There I was, sitting in this refrigerator, minding me own business.........."
