Because Im bored

& the internet is full of weird....
How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo) Quiz - The Oatmeal

Turn out I could take out 58....

 

How long could you survive after punching a bear in the balls? Quiz - The Oatmeal

scored 55 seconds.... dunno if thats good or not

 

Sadly I could only take out 33. I want you on my team.

 

15 seconds, because I am a wimp and have never bitten a beer can in half.

 

What I wanna know is.. how is biting a beer can in half, relivant to bear ball punching survival odds?.

 

It's a level of badass that few can attain and simply speaks to your overall level of awesomeness.

 

Don't know , but I'm going to start practicing just in case I have to start bear ball busting.
I got 33 in the monkey cage , and 55 bear busting.

 

A couple of things to say here.

First, what size dildo are we talking here? I mean, is this a Super Penetrator 2000? Or, perhaps something considerably smaller?
Second, I can only imagine what the animal rights activists are going to say, once they come upon this.

 

Okay. I had to do it. Here are my results.





EDIT: I may have fudged just a little bit, on my answers. Not much, but a little.

 

I think it is supposed to be studly and macho.

 

Alrighty, Y'all stand back, give me some room and will see what we get!
65 monkeys, and 1mi 6 sec on the bear! I don't know if that's good, but there it is! Lol

 

If one can make his mind like the moon shining upon still water, he can become one with his weapon.

Properly wielded, a weapon inspires first fear, then respect, and then, ultimately, love.

Thus, if any of the baboons are female, it will not be necessary to fight them.

And they, in turn, will make it unnecessary to fight the males.


Life is journey, Grasshopper, and a true Warrior cares not where his Journey may lead. Thus, a true Warrior can strike a bear's balls from the inside as easily as from the outside, for he does not fear the dark nor hesitate to venture into it.

 

Interesting that the men who fought the baboons have more proficiency with the dildo than the women...

 

Hold my beer y'all and watch this...

 

I guess if I just smooth down that foresight.....I could wack a whole troop of baboons....no wukin' furries....

Edit: the quiz is culturally biased...cricket bats would be just as effective as baseball bats...but aren't listed.

 

Other than this no comment

 

Sorry, not that bored and I'm not even sure where a bear's balls are located, someone told me a rooster's were under his wings. As for baboons and dildos, just not my cup a tea.

 

Well I bet these kids are getting prepared to fight hard today.

 

Today on Bishop back woods survival you will not see how many baboons I can take out with a dildo because some weapons skills are best kept a secret.