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Lizzy Borden had an axe...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by chelloveck, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus


    Lizzie Borden took an ax,
    Gave her mother 40 whacks.
    After she'd seen what she had done,
    She gave her father 41.
    Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died,
    And they got his daughter Lizzie, on a charge of homicide.
    Some folks say she didn't do it, and others say of course she did,
    But they all agree Miss Lizzie B, was a problem type of kid.

    Lizzie Borden Rhyme Song | Folklore not kind to Lizzie Borden Acquitted of ax murders - Baltimore Sun
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    It wasn't Lizzie's fault. It was that evil axe. If we had proper axe control laws we could have made the world safe for the children. Damn those axes and the NAA (National Axe Association) Neanderthals.
    Mountainman, Yard Dart and tulianr like this.
  3. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    It most certainly wasn't a chipped, micro stamped, or registered axe, and it was most likely a fully automatic assault axe as well!
    "Weapons of war have no place on our streets!"
    Yard Dart and tulianr like this.
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Was it a battle axe or a wood splitter?
  5. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    See if it had a selector switch.
  6. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus


    Next you'll be prattlin',
    that it would ne'er have happened,
    if Lizzie's Dad, and Lizzie's mum,
    were both wieldin' a loaded gun!
  7. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Well....it's true ain't it?;) the song would have gone "Lizzy Bordon took an ax, and Blammm! (Knife to a gun battle syndrome);)
    oldawg and Mountainman like this.
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