Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by chelloveck, Oct 17, 2012.
A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender.
The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia.
The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."!
Oh don't get me started on this one. My family has banned me from using bar jokes
So.... a baby seal walked into a club...
A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What will be stranger?"
The seal responded, "I'll have anything as long it is not a Canadian club."
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
And on that note .. I'd better quit
A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.
See I told you that You shouldn't get me started on bar jokes!!! They are not going to get any better .. I promise!
Two guys walk into a bar....
You would think the second one would have ducked!
What do you call a Bohemian that gets thrown out of a bar?
A bounced Czech
"dyslexics of the World....untie!"
A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The Screwdriver responds, "You have a drink named Murray?"
So a guy walks into a bar after a round of golf and sits down at a table opposite a flashily dressed blonde who says to him" I'm a hooker" and he says "well, if you turn your hands on the shaft a little bit to the left... you'll tend more towards a slice.
A guy walks into a barber shop, asks "Bob Peters here? " barber replies "Nope. Just cut hair.
Bill Clinton, a Rabbi, and a Priest walk into a bar...
the bartender looks up and says, "whats this, the start of a bad joke?"
E-flat walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors."
An Irishman walks past a bar. What? It could happen.
An accountant walks into a bar.. what day is it?
The scary thing about the Kennedys is they are just about all lawyers. Can you imagine Teddy Kennedy actually PASSING a bar?
Separate names with a comma.