So........A guy walks into a bar.....

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by chelloveck, Oct 17, 2012.


  1. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    420289_288923591178576_204152432989026_733212_1298873009_n.
    420289_288923591178576_204152432989026_733212_1298873009_n.
     
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  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [LMAO]

    A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender.


    The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia.

    The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."!
     
  3. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    tense.
    tense.
     
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  4. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    Oh don't get me started on this one. My family has banned me from using bar jokes
     
    chelloveck likes this.
  5. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    So.... a baby seal walked into a club...
     
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  6. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What will be stranger?"
    The seal responded, "I'll have anything as long it is not a Canadian club."
     
  7. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
     
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  8. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
    The other says, "Are you sure?"
    The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
    And on that note .. I'd better quit
     
  9. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

    See I told you that You shouldn't get me started on bar jokes!!! They are not going to get any better .. I promise!
     
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  10. RevJammer

    RevJammer Monkey++

    Two guys walk into a bar....

    You would think the second one would have ducked!



    RJ
     
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  11. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    What do you call a Bohemian that gets thrown out of a bar?

    A bounced Czech
     
    chelloveck likes this.
  12. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    "dyslexics of the World....untie!"
     
  13. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
    The Screwdriver responds, "You have a drink named Murray?"
     
  14. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member


    So a guy walks into a bar after a round of golf and sits down at a table opposite a flashily dressed blonde who says to him" I'm a hooker" and he says "well, if you turn your hands on the shaft a little bit to the left... you'll tend more towards a slice.
     
  15. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    A guy walks into a barber shop, asks "Bob Peters here? " barber replies "Nope. Just cut hair.
     
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  16. Dawg23

    Dawg23 do or do not, there is no try

    Bill Clinton, a Rabbi, and a Priest walk into a bar...

    the bartender looks up and says, "whats this, the start of a bad joke?"
     
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  17. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    E-flat walks into a bar.


    The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors."
     
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  18. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    An Irishman walks past a bar. What? It could happen.
     
    chelloveck likes this.
  19. UGRev

    UGRev Get on with it!

    An accountant walks into a bar.. what day is it?
     
  20. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    The scary thing about the Kennedys is they are just about all lawyers. Can you imagine Teddy Kennedy actually PASSING a bar?
     
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