Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and rode his motorcycle a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted. The End.
Once upon a time, ~~~~~~~~ in a land far away, ~~~~~~~~ a beautiful, independent, ~~~~~~~~ self-assured princess ~~~~~~~~ happened upon a frog as she sat, ~~~~~~~~ contemplating ecological issues ~~~~~~~~ on the shores of an unpolluted pond ~~~~~~~~ in a verdant meadow near her castle. ~~~~~~~~ The frog hopped into the princess' lap ~~~~~~~~ and said: Elegant Lady, ~~~~~~~~ I was once a handsome prince, ~~~~~~~~ until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. ~~~~~~~~ One kiss from you, however, ~~~~~~~~ and I will turn back ~~~~~~~~ into the dapper, young prince that I am ~~~~~~~~ and then, my sweet, we can marry ~~~~~~~~ and set up housekeeping in your castle ~~~~~~~~ with my mother, ~~~~~~~~ where you can prepare my meals, ~~~~~~~~ clean my clothes, bear my children, ~~~~~~~~ and forever ~~~~~~~~ feel grateful and happy doing so. ~~~~~~~~ That night, ~~~~~~~~ as the princess dined sumptuously ~~~~~~~~ on lightly sauteed frog legs ~~~~~~~~ seasoned in a white wine ~~~~~~~ and onion cream sauce, ~~~~~~~~ she chuckled and thought to herself: ~~~~~~~~ I don't f***ing think so.
