They Walk Among Us...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Aug 1, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    TO THOSE OF US WHO HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE, WE KNOW THESE ITEM (GEMS) TO BE THE TRUTH. IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD THE
    OPPORTUNITY, NOW YOU KNOW WHY WE ARE SCREWED UP AS A COUNTRY, AND WHY JAY LENO AND HANNERTY ARE DOING THEIR 'MAN ON THE STREET INTERVIEWS'

    Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
    fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
    to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually
    decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution...
    They Walk Among Us

    ====================

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
    which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day
    I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center
    was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
    He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting
    to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . .
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
    overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the
    sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut
    through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
    cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
    the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
    showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
    They Walk Among Us!

    ====================

    While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
    pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
    Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.

    ====================

    *They walk among us, AND reproduce!:eek:
     
  2. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Sheeple. :dunno: [sheep]
     
  3. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    A blonde?
     
  4. fuzzy

    fuzzy Monkey+++

    but doesn't everybody have days like that.you know, a brainfart day. lol
     
  5. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
    fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
    to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually
    decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution...
    They Walk Among Us

    I knew a guy whos job was cleaning out abandoned houses and apartments and that was how they got rid of 90% of their stuff. If they marked it free no one would even look at it but if they put a price tag on it or made a weak attempt to secure it then it was almost always gone by the next day, a lot of times even bags of garbage. lol
     
  6. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Even the bags of garbage. Now I know who set me up. :D

    Seems like some people have days like that, though it seems like most of society walk around in days like that.

    Went to eat the other day at a restaurant with a waiter and all that fancy stuff. Had me a little cup saucer sitting there and I would throw the empty packets of sugar on it. Waiter walks up pointing to the saucer and says, Can I take that?

    My question is where are the patrons that would find it offensive for the waiter to take away the garbage? Did he actually think I was going to say 'No, I want it in a doggy bag.' :D
     
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