Virus Alerts... (Circa 2001 ish) (PG)

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Jul 1, 2016.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee have solutions as yet!

    The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

    The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

    The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

    The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

    The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

    The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

    The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

    The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.

    The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

    The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

    The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

    The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.
    Ganado, Homer Simpson, Dont and 2 others like this.
  2. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    UncleMorgan likes this.
  3. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    The Loretta Lynch virus - frequently found in conjunction with the Clinton virus, delays all easily accessible data for 29 months.
    UncleMorgan and Witch Doctor 01 like this.
  4. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Hillary Clinton Virus - Deletes selected e-mails from your servers...
    Ganado likes this.
  5. duane

    duane Monkey+++

    The 2016 political virus, comes with a backup abacus, because their may not be any computers to infect when it is over.
    Ganado likes this.
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