Virus Alerts... (Circa 2001 ish) (PG)

Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee have solutions as yet!


The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

 

The Loretta Lynch virus - frequently found in conjunction with the Clinton virus, delays all easily accessible data for 29 months.

 

Hillary Clinton Virus - Deletes selected e-mails from your servers...

 

The 2016 political virus, comes with a backup abacus, because their may not be any computers to infect when it is over.