News Flash Canada: Illegal Border Crossers.

Tom Kratman
8 hrs · Blacksburg, VA ·
h/t MJW

News Update from Canada
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week.
The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution.

Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay."

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.



"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers."

Rumors are circulating about plans to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wigs and polyester pantsuits, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones.

"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?"

 

Tom Kratman is one of my favorite authors...I wish he would write some more books but it appears he is finished.

 

woopee and its about time too

 

Ironic isn't it! Funny none the less! Had the wife read it, and at first she thought it was an actual news story and was just about to start in, I finally had to explain it to her, boy did she laugh!!!

 

Better stay north sweet cheeks, wouldn't wanna break a nail tryin to get back!

 

AMFs

 

Ugg!!!! I wonder ow many know what those were?

 

I was remembering the Harley Davidsons built by the bowling manufacture!

 

Nope! Can't be Whoopi! If it was, ball and tracer would be taking chunks out of her!

 

Kidding aside, why does every hypocritical Hollywood type that falsely promised to leave the country if Trump was elected, say they'll move to Canada, New Zealand, Australia? Why not Mexico? It's right next door. It's inexpensive to live there compared to Canada, and, they love the Mexican people so much they get red faced and angry at the mere suggestion that we not leave a wide-open border to allow them to come our way any time they like.

So, what's stopping them from wanting to move to Mexico?? Could it be that it's full of Mexicans?? Sounds like these folks, mostly elitist white liberals, prefer the company of other elitist white liberals, rather than cuddling up to our southern neighbors. Hmmm....

 

That right there Withak is the Truth!!! I ask the same thing, Why not move to Mexico?

 

Zactly - and it's where all our old jobs that didn't go to China went.... oh, sorry, liberals, jobs....crap, now they are going to protest again... better break out the crayons and puppies...

 

Do you mean bad hombres?