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I decided that if Condoms R Us is going to be successful, I really need more business education and what better place is there then that liberal bastion Yale. I've been trying to get an athletic scholarship based on my skill in so many sporting events but to date, my requests for free money have gone unanswered. I'm sure, however, that Mr. Obama will be happy to subsidize this endeavor since, strictly speaking, I'm an alien. I have a fishing license but that's it, no papers.