10 PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Mar 9, 2009.


  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    10 PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS


    1 Blaming your farts on me.....
    Not funny... Not funny at all !!!

    2 Yelling at me for barking.
    I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG


    3 Taking me for a walk, then
    not letting me check stuff out.
    Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


    4 Any trick that involves balancing
    food on my nose.
    Stop it!


    5 Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
    Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.


    6 The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.

    You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo!
    What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.


    7 Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip',

    then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

    8 Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
    Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.


    9 Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

    10 How you act disgusted when I lick myself.

    Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

    Now lay off me on some of these things.
    We both know who's boss here!
    You don't see me picking up your poop do you?





    A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
    CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!

     
  2. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I think mine gets mad because I pee in his big white water bowl!
     
  3. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    Thanks forthe laugh...lol
     
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    A dog thinks, "Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice, warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me.... They must be gods!"


    A cat thinks, "Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice, warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me.... I must be a god!"


    ;)






    What are the qualities of a dog?

    Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
    They can hear a package of food opening half-a-block away but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
    They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they're not happy.
    When you want to be alone, they want to play.
    They never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
    Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats.


    What are the qualities of a cat?

    Cats do what they want.
    They rarely listen to you.
    They're unpredictable.
    They pout when they are not happy.
    When you want to play, they want to be left alone.
    They expect you to cater to their every whim.
    They're moody.
    They leave hair everywhere.
    They drive you nuts and cost you money.
    Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.


    [batteye]
     
  5. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    [fnny] I like it!
     
  6. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Sooooo....I "borrowed" your joke and posted it on my Buffett board....This is one guy's response... :)


    :lol:
     
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