:)

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Moon, May 28, 2009.


  1. Moon

    Moon Monkey++

    So this three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says:







    I'm a' lookin' for the guy that shot my paw :)
    [beer]
     
  2. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [fnny] [ROFL][ROFL][rofllmao][rofllmao]
     
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Oh God; Tracy?
     
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    heh heh heh.

    Many years ago I had this crazy idea about writing a novel about the Civil War but then suddenly it was all gone with the wind.
    [batteye]


    Did no one warn Moon about getting me started? ;)
     
  5. Moon

    Moon Monkey++

    No, but now I guess I know :)
    :cheers:
     
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Here we go -- :lol:
     
  7. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    One of my fav's (when telling, I usually start with Did you hear about the recent shooting?):
    Police found a criminal shot to death with exit wounds but no entry wounds...

    ~giggle~

    They determined that it was an inside job.

    ~giggle some more~
     
  8. Cephus

    Cephus Monkey+++ Founding Member

    He swallowed the bullets and then got
    all hot and bothered ,I'm guessing here.

    :Dseesaw:oops:
     
  9. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Hmmm... I thought he must've been shooting his mouth off. ;)
     
  10. Cephus

    Cephus Monkey+++ Founding Member

    [fnny][fnny][ROFL]:oops:
     
  11. The Expendable

    The Expendable Bread and Circus Master

    A bear walked into a bar and said, "Could I have a.................................... beer?"

    The bartender said, "Why the big paws?"
     
  12. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    News Flash: Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
     
  13. The Expendable

    The Expendable Bread and Circus Master

    Did you read about the lady who backed into a plane propeller? Disaster!

    (sound it out people... don't make me explain it!)
     
  14. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Then there was the cow that tried to jump over a barbed wire fence. Udder distruction -- [winkthumb]
     
  15. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Ok Tracy......... I know you're just seeing how long it takes to give me an aneurysm.

    :eek:
     
  16. The Expendable

    The Expendable Bread and Circus Master

    You know what you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef!
     
  17. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Sorry, Blackjack. That thought did stand out in my mind. :eek: If it's any consolation; before I post puns anymore, I do think of you and the pain it must cause. Just keep in mind; A poetic hack anapest iamb, but it could be verse. :D
     
  18. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

  19. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Weapons of Math Instruction and the AL-Gebra Movement..


    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

    He did not identify the man , who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isos Celes used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

    White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
     
  20. The Expendable

    The Expendable Bread and Circus Master

    heh heh... Weapons of math instruction...
     
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