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2009 Headlines

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seacowboys, Jul 1, 2007.


  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    <tt><tt>
    >
    > Headlines 2029
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
    country in the world, Mexifornia formerly known as California. White minorities
    still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
    >
    >
    > Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    >
    >
    > Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
    >
    >
    > Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
    >
    >
    > Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
    Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
    >
    >
    > Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
    years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
    >
    >
    > France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
    >
    >
    > Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
    but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
    >
    >
    > George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
    >
    >
    > Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
    delivery to Wednesdays only.
    >
    >
    > 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
    >
    >
    > Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
    >
    >
    > Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
    they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
    >
    >
    > Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
    >
    >
    > Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
    >
    >
    > Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches!
    >
    >
    > New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
    and rolled- up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
    >
    >
    > Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
    contributions to campaign accounts.
    >
    >
    > IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
    >
    >
    > Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. </tt></tt></pre>
     
  2. sheen_estevez

    sheen_estevez Monkey+++

    That's funny right there, I don't care who you are b::
     
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    :censored:
     
  4. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    [fnny] guess it's true
     
  5. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    Had that nightmare [LMAO]
     
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