Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    1. Money cannot buy happiness but...somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.

    2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name.

    3. Help a man when he is in trouble & he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

    4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

    5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.
    GOG, marlas1too, Mindgrinder and 7 others like this.
  2. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Perfect... Remember #3!
    marlas1too likes this.
  3. Oltymer

    Oltymer Monkey++

    6. No good deed goes unpunished.
    GOG and Yard Dart like this.
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    7. NEVER mess with the cook's stuff.
    Oltymer, GOG, marlas1too and 2 others like this.
  5. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Never trust a skinny cook.
    GOG, marlas1too and Bandit99 like this.
  6. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    #? Sometimes the sun even shines on a coyotes butt...but you can't grow tomatoes in it's butt till it's been dead for a couple years.
    marlas1too likes this.
  7. marlas1too

    marlas1too Monkey+++

    keep your friends close and your enemy’s even closer--never turn your back on your enemy
  8. svjoe

    svjoe Angry Monkey

    Never trust a person that cant look you in the eye.
  9. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

    Never tell the truth. Both sides will hate you and try to kill you if you do.

    Lie, cheat and steal and you too can be the next President of the US.

    A .45 beats four Aces and a King.

    If you shoot at every sound in the dark, you won't have any friends, but your enemies will be dead too.

    Friends come and go, enemies will be with you forever.

    If you feel safe, sane and happy, DO NOT PANIC! The drugs will wear off soon.
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2016
    Oltymer and GOG like this.
  10. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    I am only going to say "this " once.
  11. Tempstar

    Tempstar Monkey+++

    Getting rid of someone only requires loaning them money....
  12. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Witch Doctor 01, oldawg and Legion489 like this.
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