7 Ways To Become A Great Forum Troll

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by melbo, Feb 13, 2011.

  1. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    There are some very important components to being a great forum troll and you must embody them all if you want to be truly effective.

    1. It's very important to be a poor speller. I can't stress this one enough. It's against the troll code of conduct to spell words correctly, so proper spelling will give you away as a wannabe very quickly.

    2. You must be creative with profanity. It's not enough to use profanity, you need to be able to use it in new and exciting ways. Sure, you might get a reaction if you call someone a mother somethingorother, but you'll get a much stronger reaction if you specify just whose mother that person has been somethingorothering.


    4. Accuse the other person of being gay . When you get into a war of words with someone, odds are they will win it. Why do I say that? Because most trolls are mental midgets and you're a troll, right? So, you'll need a back up plan for when you lose an argument, and few things will do more damage than accusing a complete stranger of being gay. Of course the other person will be humiliated that you've somehow deduced the sexual orientation he's kept hidden from family and friends for all these years and he'll likely be so ashamed that he'll never show his face on the site again. Or maybe not, but it's free to try, right?

    5. Don't let facts get in the way of a good opinion. This is a biggie for a good troll. Go right ahead and state whatever is on your mind and when confronted with evidence to the contrary, stand your ground. Question the other person's sources, as in, "Hillary WHO?", and when the source can't be questioned, question the context, as in, "sure, but does it list how often he stutters during all speeches, or just after State of the Union addresses?"

    6. When in doubt, threaten physical violence. This one will really show them. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of others like being threatened by some faceless name on a computer screen. Sure, you're a scrawny, 120 pound geek sitting in front of his computer wearing three day old underwear, but tell someone you're going to kick his butt and everyone will think you're 7 foot tall and bullet proof. All the other people on the forum will instantly become afraid of you and no one will ever dare disagree with you again.

    7. Your head must be up your rear end. This is not negotiable, all trolls have their heads up there, without exception.

    These are the most important components of being a great forum troll, but explore a little and see how many new ideas you can come up with. You're only limited by your imagination, profanity filters and, in certain cases, law enforcement agencies, so have at it.

    If you're looking for real world examples, odds are that a few will show up in the replies to this post.

    7 Ways To Become A Great Forum Troll | XenForo Community

    CANDY fISHER Monkey+

    [bow] lol yep thats the list ! Seen many LOL
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol: Priceless!
  4. Disciple

    Disciple Monkey+

    lol, melbo.........snickering heavily.
  5. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf Monkey+++

    I haven't seen too many around here lately, Melbo must be chasing them off for us!
  6. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    Melbo, those anti-troll pellets are working wonders! I absolutely love the post!
  7. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    Seems they work on elephants to.. [applaud] Haven't seen any of those around here, either.....[lolol][lolol] Just a bunch of Monkeys....[ROFL][ROFL][ROFL]
  8. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    We don't need no stinkin' trolls!
  9. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Troll-rific! ;)

    I'd add another rule for a great troll - he MUST claim total expertise in ANY subject he writes about, and belittle anyone else, nevermind they may actually HAVE expertise in that subject - like WORKING in the field.
  10. oth47

    oth47 Monkey+

    Gotta know when to use the words "stupid" and "ignorant"..if your opponent doesn't agree with you,they're "stupid".If they have the true facts of the matter they're "ignorant".If you can't win the debate on the merits of the facts then they're "stupid and ignorant".
  11. TnAndy

    TnAndy Senior Member Founding Member

    And don't forget "moron"......gotta get that in there somewhere. True trolls ALWAYS have the moron card in their deck, ready to play it.
  12. BAT1

    BAT1 Cowboys know no fear

    What's the worst part about a barrel of monkeys? Cleaning out the barrel! lol
  13. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


  14. Disciple

    Disciple Monkey+

    the bad thing is trolls are great target for those of us Monkeys that are poo flingers.....................(lol), I have no targets left.............Hee Hee........
  15. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Ah, but a Good Monkey only flings poo when he has his facts straight! Only a Troll Monkey flings his poo indescriminately! ;)
  16. VisuTrac

    VisuTrac Ваша мать носит военные ботинки Site Supporter+++

    aw man, my aw350m3n355 @ b31ng a Tr011 ha5 b33n c0mpr0m15ed. Mu5t L3av3 2 f1nd 3as13r markz.

    haK0rz Rul3![respect]
  17. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

  18. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

  19. Nadja

    Nadja RIP 3-11-2013 Forum Leader

  20. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

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