A Cowboy Named Bud

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by fireplaceguy, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. fireplaceguy

    fireplaceguy Monkey+

    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
    pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced
    toward him out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
    sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,
    "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
    will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie,
    then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers "Sure,
    Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
    connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a
    NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to
    get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another
    NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
    exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
    image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an
    MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with
    email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
    hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and
    says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"
    says Bud.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
    on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his

    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
    exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says
    "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a US Congressman", says Bud.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie "but how did you
    guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here
    even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer
    I already knew, to a question I never asked.

    You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me
    how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about
    how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
    matter, because this is a herd of sheep!

    Now give me back my dog."</pre>
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    yup, we are from the government and we are here to help you. As federal employees we are God. You know nothing. We know everything. We never make mistakes. If however we make a mistake, we will cover it up and even kill to keep the mistake secret. You cannot handle the truth. Resistance is futile. Surrender your soul to the collective, or we will destroy you. Do not ever disagree with us or we will bring down the wrath of God upon you.
    Don't you just love our government of we the people?
  3. iceman121

    iceman121 just starting

    long but very funny
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  5. medstud

    medstud Just a pilgrim

    And I suppose they think we should be thanking them!! Hmmm I don't think so. Shows just how off they are. Great illustration of the truth.
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