A Damned Shame

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Seacowboys, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Gaston Fuller passed away last night around midnight. He was more than alone because, due to Alzheimers, he had forgotten who he was, had no idea where he was, had forgotten his native language and could only communicate in groans and squeals, He **** himself daily but could not even change his own diapers or clean himself.
    He is survived by his daughter, in Memphis; she said bury him or cremate him, just deal with it.
    He is survived by my wife's mother, if you can call her "Alive". She has been in a drunken psychotic episode for a few weeks and we had to take Gaston and place him in a nursing home because she would drag him from his hospital bed and beat him and then remember nothing about it. She kept him alive so his social security checks would continue so now there is cause for legitimate grief.
    He is survived by the VA, who said he wasn't ill enough to be tended properly, take two of these, and these and call us next week. When he nearly froze and insanguinated from holes made by a Chinese machine gun in Korea, I'll bet he thought the VA would take better care of him.
    Gaston and my wife's mother did not marry because that would reduce their sole means of support by one (Social Security). We helped them move here so that we could assist them and better tend them in their last years. Recently, it has become a crisis and we had to place Gaston in an assisted living home because , due to MIL's drinking and psychosis, his life was in danger and we had to separate the components to allow us to proceed with getting the batshit crazy mother in law dried out.
    Today is officially "The World Revolves Around Peggy Thrasher-Fuller" day and wails of grief and "What Am I going to do" and "I loved him so" will permeate the sound waves and I am going to miss my shooting match to referee the family circus. This is not a fit eulogy for a man that raised a family and served in combat, nor a fit ending....A man should know exactly who he is when he meet his maker. God, Should I put a name tag on him?
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    My deepest condolences Sea. I agree with your take on the whole situation. I think I would rather go by my own hand than like that. But the flip side is that every moment of life for some is precious beyond riches. I will pray for you and your family.
  3. oth47

    oth47 Monkey+

    My wife's dad is 87 years old,a WWII vet,still working around the yard and garden,in pretty good health..I pray when his time comes he goes quick.He'd be miserable if he got down where he couldn't do anything.Sorry for the loss of an old warrior.
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Blessings are often disguised in tragedy. Prayers for deliverance.
    Tracy, Opinionated and Seacowboys like this.
  5. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Thank you, my friend. This isn't and never has been about me, I just happen to be an observer that has somehow gotten saddled with the complicated aftermath. I found the whole situation extremely sad and somehow, typical of the disassociation that our society has come to accept as normal.
  6. gunbunny

    gunbunny Never Trust A Bunny

    [QUOTE....A man should know exactly who he is when he meet his maker. God, Should I put a name tag on him?[/QUOTE]

    Don't worry, God knows who he is.

    Prayers out to the family and to you, Sea. A friend of mine had a similiar situation as your's, but instead of a mil, it was the next of kin circling around the poor fellow like a bunch of waiting vultures. Human nature really can suck sometimes; so vain and transparent.
    Seacowboys likes this.
  7. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    Sea, I just finished my morning devotional and prayers, and added Gaston, yourself, and your family to my prayers. On a side note, ghrit is correct. My grandfather slowly descended into the hell known as Alzheimers. We cared for him at home until his condition became one that required 24 hour care. He went to a special facility that specialized in extreme dementia and Alzhiemers care. After a year, he stopped eating. A feeding tube was inserted, but he was so weak, it was too little too late. He passed quietly into that good night.

    We too, had our round with the VA. After serving in WWII and Korea, you'd think my grandfather had earned the care. I guess not.

    Again, I can empathize, and feel your loss. My condolences, prayers, and thoughts are with you.
    Seacowboys likes this.
  8. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    There are many kind people here and I thank you all for your good thoughts and blessings. Gaston's passing was an answer to a prayer; his quality of life had diminished to living hell and now my wife can concentrate her efforts on tending to her mother, who, if I didn't mention, is crazy as a shithouserat.
  9. Pax Mentis

    Pax Mentis Philosopher King |RIP 11-4-2017

    I have to say, Sea, that this makes me angry all over again.

    Back "in the day", when we were still dealing with the VA a lot and physical recovery from wounds and battering was still in progress, we used to say the only difference between the VC and the VA was one letter. I had sort of forgotten that until the past few years.

    As I get older, the old injuries reassert themselves...and "new" new ones suddenly appear (over the past 8-10 years, damage from the Agent Orange, in which I found myself soaked at the end of many days, has caused my pancreas to intermittently shut down, and my heart to try doing the same repeatedly), I am greatful that I was able in the interim to earn the stability that makes it possible to deal with most of the issues outside the VA system.

    I work locally with a group of other vets who have been fortunate over the years to help our brothers and sisters, ones who have not been so fortunate, deal with the VA, the other governmental assistance avenues and just the challenges faced by those who are less able physically and mentally to deal with organizational disregard. My father was gassed and shot in France and came home to be gassed and burned out with the "Bonus Army" of 1932...as near as I can see, the governmental "concern" for those who served is not appreciably better now than it was then.

    Tonite, when I break out the 2 ounces of good scotch I allow myself for an evening, I will drink a toast to Gaston...and add just a little bit to the level of anger I feel at a government that spends more time, energy and money finding ways to deny those who served what they need (and were promised for their service) than they do serving those who served.

    Tracy, Opinionated, Cephus and 4 others like this.
  10. beast

    beast backwoodsman

    i know that letting one go is hard on most
    but keeping an empty husk alive is senseless
    if anyone ever does that to me i WILL haunt them forever
    when the "ME" is gone from my body, let it die in peace
  11. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Dying steals life. Death is the easy part. I know that you will keep all the marbles from falling off the table because that's what you do.
    Tracy likes this.
  12. VHestin

    VHestin Farm Chick

    When my maternal grandfather died, the family did the vulture thing according to my mother(she was down there in CA as Executor, I was in WA). I believe some people are so unhappy with themselves, that having to live with themselves is worse torture than anything anyone else can do to them. Hang in there SC!
  13. STANGF150

    STANGF150 Knowledge Seeker

    Makes me think more & more that movie Starship Troopers had the right idea. Only Citizens could Vote or hold Public Office, an you could only become a Citizen thru Military Service.
    Capt. Tyree and Sapper John like this.
  14. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    As they say........You can choose your friends

    but you inherit and/or breed the family that will see you into your dotage.

    My own father in law died last week. He had been declining in health for quite some time, but he doggedly sucked the marrow out of life, mainly for the sake of the love of wife for as long as his body could sustain him. He was admitted to hospital a couple of weeks ago due to an acute infection, but held on until he could be discharged back into the care of his youngest daughter (my eventually to be ex wife ; ) (we have been separated for some 11 years now)), where he died in the home that he had built, surrounded by the unwavering love and affection of his lifepartner and their children. He would have been 98 this coming February.

    Les was an interesting fellow. He had served in the British army during WWII ending his service as a captain working as an interpreter / translator during some of the trials of some of the "minor" war crimes crimminals at Nuremburg. He was a very determined man....starting University study after he had retired from a very productive working life, eventually attaining the award of a Doctorate of Philosophy, of which he was justifiably proud, having put his wife and his children's interests first thoughout his working life.

    He was a man that I much admired, and whom I learned a lot from. Les's rapid decline in the preceding months saddened me, but he was philosophical about it, and met his end with a dignity and equanimity that I hope that I may be able to emulate when it comes to my own death.

    Les's funeral was both a sad and a funny occasion....sad because he is no longer living among us...but also funny because he was a man who loved life and people, and he had a wonderful sense of humour and was a diabolical practical joker. Some of the family legends retold at the service concerning his practical jokes were related to an extent that it could not be certain whether the tears being shed were due to the sadness of the occasion, or the collective recollection of his role in the funny incidents that he had participated in thoughout his life.

    I feel for your wife, and you also, Sea.....Gaston certainly deserved better. He was fortunate that he had a daugher and son in law who respected him and did as much as they could do for him; some don't even have that.
    Cephus and RightHand like this.
  15. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Chello - sorry for your loss of this man with whom you shared not only a history but also a friendship
  16. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    To Sea, and Chell: We, Momma and I, send our condolences, to you, and yours, on the loss of your Elders. We have been in your shoes, when my Parents died, a decade ago, and know the pain, and loss, felt. Momma took care of my Mother, at our house, as a Hospice Nurse, for the last 9 months of her life, after the Old Man died. Mother always was, a bit funny, in her Old Age, but those last 6 months were especially hard on her. We always figured, She was half here, and half over on the other-side, during that last stretch. I miss the wisdom, of the Old Man, every day, and find that NOW, My children and grandchildren consider "Me" the "Old Man" I feel very humble, about filling my Fathers shoes, in that roll, but that is LIFE, and part of the deal you get, when you live here on this rock. Peace, and your God's Eternal Love, on both of you, and yours.....
  17. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    I'm sorry Darrel , prayers for healing .Im very sadden to hear of our warriors dieing in tragic ways.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  18. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    What can we say... We are all diminished by the death of one who gave so much for the rest of us....
    Sapper John likes this.
  19. cdnboy66

    cdnboy66 Monkey++

    Sea and Chell
    Our condolences as well, we will keep you in prayer.
    It is difficult beyond words to lose one who means so much to us, so we must hold on to the hope of the reunion.
    Peace to you in Christ
  20. 44044

    44044 Monkey+++

    Prayers sent to help you in your time of need
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