A little marital advice

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Nov 16, 2014.

  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I thought I would share a little I've learned about marriage for the younger fellas here. I have been married for 31 years so I know a bit about it. Well, that's 31 years total. If you add up all three of my marriages.

    They say that good communication is a key to a happy marriage. I have found that to be completely true. Keeping those lines of communication open is vital.

    For example here is a recent conversation the wife and I had;

    Me: (after giving her a big kiss) Thank you honey.

    Her:For what?

    Me: For letting me buy the new Harley.

    Her: ppfft, like I ever let you do anything.

    Me: I discussed it with you first.

    Her: You told me you were going to buy one.

    Me: Yes, but you didn't say no.

    Her: What if I had said no. What would you have one?

    Me: (after thinking about it for a moment)Well, I guess I would have felt guilty when I bought it.

    Her: I bet you would have, for about a minute.

    Me: Well that's something isn't it?

    Her: Yes honey that's something.

    Me: I love you baby.

    Her: I love you too.

    Yes sir fellas, take my advice, good communication is the foundation of any successful marriage.
    Your welcome!
    (now I have to go mail off those alimony checks)
    Bug, Gator 45/70, JABECmfg and 10 others like this.
  2. vonslob

    vonslob Monkey++

    I feel your pain brother. I have managed not to fall into the marriage trap, came really close the the edge of the abyss once. ;). Just kidding. I am a little envious of my friends that have good marriages, but a bad one, there is not much worse. If a girlfriend tell me that "you are in trouble" then i am out, i stopped being a little boy about thirty years ago.
    Motomom34 likes this.
  3. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Open communication IS DEFINITLY the key to a lasting relationship. Miscommunication whether it be by omission, lies, misunderstandings not clarified, insults, slights, silence, yelling, or swearing, can and will destroy a relationship in a heartbeat. If you can't talk open and honest, unafraid to bear your soul on any level with your chosen mate, you have nothing that is going to last whether you think you do or not. jmho ps; speaking from experience, learning from my mistakes
  4. jynx

    jynx Monkey

    I'd add lying to yourself as well.

    We all view and interact with the world based on our own preconceived perceptions. It's how we judge others and our own reasons for our actions. If you aren't someone who does regular self-explorations for why you view and do things a certain way, then any conversation you have with someone is suspect and could lead to future misunderstandings and arguments when they expect you to react a certain way based on what you told them.
    Motomom34 likes this.
  5. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    Sounds about like when I/we went to "look" at the Indian Scout, then signed on the dotted line.

    Gonna be a chilly winter.
    Minuteman likes this.
  6. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Not in my house...

    Me: (after giving her a big kiss) Thank you honey.
    Her:What ever it is, NO! [fight2]
    Gopherman and Yard Dart like this.
  7. Airtime

    Airtime Monkey+++

    We try for compromise at our house. After a disagreement I finally tried to find a compromise. I said she if admit would I was right, I'd admit I was wrong. She agreed. So I said, "I'm sorry dear, I was wrong." She promptly responded, " Yeah! You're right!"
  8. Gopherman

    Gopherman Sometimes I Wish I Could Go Back to Sleep

    Just had my 14th anniversary! We never get into screaming matches and have never Sworn at each other!
    What I have learned is never be so proud that you can't apologize, and knowing when to shut up helps too! Before the[shtf]!
  9. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member


    What I've learned about married life after being together for over 20 years:
    1. It's good to be King! [kneelsuckers]

    2. The Queen has no power, unless we're playing Chess.[bateye]
    Minuteman likes this.
  10. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    So are you a Queen or a King?
  11. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Tracy is neither, She is a Benevolent Dictator.....
    Tracy likes this.
  12. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator


    My wife has been trying to decode me since we first met 9 years ago. She was never around me while I was enlisted or any others that have served in the military. I think I baffle her at least once a week in something I do, an opinion or something I say!!:rolleyes:
  13. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    She just needs more training.
    Tracy and Yard Dart like this.
  14. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    Training an Irish red-head woman is like :censored:
    Tracy and Minuteman like this.
  15. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    I never suggested that you would live through the training!
    Bug, oldawg, Tracy and 2 others like this.
  16. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    men and women think totally differently.
    a man will set up a room the way he wants it to be and it will remain that way for the next 10 years. you could put the furniture back by the oxidation of the paint and the marks on the floor.

    a woman will get up in the middle of the night move furniture, I KNOW, I have run into a couch that was not there when I went to bed.

    a man will sort his tools by what they do. These are for your plumbing, these for carpentry, these for painting, these for auto repair....
    a woman will sort them by color, "it was blue!" (Facepalm)

    a man will find the perfect woman and I hope she stays that way forever.
    a woman will find a man with potential, and spend the rest of her life trying to change him.

    A man will talk when he has something to say.
    A woman..........;)
    Bug, Tracy, Gopherman and 1 other person like this.
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