A little Papal humor...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
    'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
    'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
    'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
    'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
    Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
    'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
    'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
    The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
    'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
    The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
    'So bust him,' says the Chief.
    'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
    The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
    The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
    Cop: 'Bigger.'
    Chief: 'A senator?'
    Cop: 'Bigger.'
    Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
    Cop: 'Bigger.'
    'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
    Cop: 'I think it's God!'
    The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
    Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
    Brokor and BTPost like this.
  2. Pax Mentis

    Pax Mentis Philosopher King |RIP 11-4-2017

    Sorta reminds me of a Pope joke I heard once...

    Seems the Pope's assistant came to him very excited and says "Your Holiness, I have very good news and very bad news."

    The Pope says "Well, give me the good news first."

    The assistant tells him that Christ has returned to earth and is on the phone.

    The Pope gets very excited and asks "With that news, what could possibly be bad?"

    The assistant responds, "He's calling from Salt Lake City..."

  3. Tikka

    Tikka Monkey+++

    I heard a joke the other day. It seems that Bush and the Pope were in a boat when the Pope's hat flew off. One of the secret service agents was getting ready to dive into the water to retrieve the hat when Bush stopped him. Bush calmly got out of the boat, walked on the water and retrieved the Pope's hat. The Pope was impressed.
    The next day's headline in the (insert favorite liberal newspaper name here) was Bush Can't Swim
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary