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A new compendium of work "daffynitions"

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Sep 18, 2005.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    A New Compendium of Work Daffynitions

    1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

    3 ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

    4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
    upstream only to get screwed and die in the end

    5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

    6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and peoples heads pop up over the walls to see whats going on.

    7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generations
    answer to the couch potato.

    8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
    Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

    9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on
    being stressed out and whiny.

    10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been
    rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from
    extensive use.

    11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free
    photocopies from ones workplace.

    12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles
    that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

    13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking
    the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

    14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
    beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from
    the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

    15. 404: Someone whos clueless. From the World Wide
    Web error message 404 Not Found, meaning that the requested document could not be located. (For those in Toronto, its also Hwy 404... destination can not be located.)

    16. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while
    passing through a Cube Farm.

    17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in
    which you realize that youve just made a BIG mistake.

    18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

    19. DOMINOES THEORY: When all your attempts at
    reasoning fall flat, so you give up and order a pizza.
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