A Pirate Walks Into A Bar

A pirate walks into a local bar that he hasn't frequented in some time. The bartender recognizes him and exclaims "My gosh man, what happened to you?"

Pirate-"Not much matey, just been busy"

Bartender-"But what about that wooden leg, you didn't have that last time you were here?"

Pirate-"Oh that. Well ya see we was in a battle and a cannon ball took mah leg off. But I be fine now."

Bartender-"But what about that hook?"

Pirate- "Oh that, well I was in a sword fight and me opponent he cut of me hand. But I got this here hook and I be fine now."

Bartender- "What about the patch over you eye, that's new too."

Pirate- "Oh yeah that. Well ya see I was aboard ship and I heard this commotion up in the riggin. I looked up to see this flock a sea gulls up there and one of em crapped right in mah eye."

Bartender-"A little bird poop caused you to lose your eye?"

Pirate-"This bloody hook takes some gettin used to!"

 

lol, yup that's a pirate joke alright.

 

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate, "I've got a bounty on me head!"