A Thanksgiving poem.... as told by a turkey:

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Nov 25, 2010.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    A Thanksgiving poem.... as told by a turkey:


    When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,

    My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,


    Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,

    And he told me there was something that I had to know;


    His look and his tone I will always remember,

    When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;


    "Come about August, now listen to me,

    Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three.


    "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,

    and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;


    "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,

    In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;


    "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,

    And scoop out all your insides and leave you lying in the sink;


    "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,

    "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing."


    Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,

    I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,


    And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,

    I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;


    I began a new diet of nuts and granola,

    High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;


    And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,

    I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;


    I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,

    And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;


    But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,

    As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;


    And sure enough when Black November rolled around,

    I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;


    So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;

    I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;


    She held me today, while sewing and humming,

    And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming


    What does she mean by that?
     
  2. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Do you need someone to explain to you just how many ways that is just frigging wrong?
     
  3. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    lol...[drooling] Turkey!
     
  4. Disciple

    Disciple Monkey+

    Doc you having a Homer moment there? LOL!
     
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