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Discussion in 'Tin Foil Hat Lounge' started by ghostrider, Jul 9, 2006.

  1. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    And they want him back!

    AN ALIEN couple, who claim to be Michael Jackson's real parents are suing Earth for full custody of him, says a man who claims to be an attorney for the ETs.

    "My clients want him back immediately," says lawyer Bentley Leavent, 39. "They are disgusted and appalled at his life here and want him to come home now."

    The self-proclaimed "King of Pop" was born in a galaxy far, far away on a planet named Zertonia -- too distant for even our mightiest telescopes to see, explains the California legal eagle.

    His parents, who are named in court papers as Mr. and Mrs. Zortron, were only teenagers and not equipped to deal with the rigors of bringing up a child when they gave him up 46 years ago.

    "Mr. Zortron was just beginning his four-year training to become a flying saucer mechanic," says Leavent.

    "He was still living at his folks' house. They planned to wed when he graduated.

    "They really loved little Michael, or Kerz-na, as they called him. But they felt it would be best if he were placed with parents who were more secure, mature people who would raise him with good, solid values and give him the moral background he needed to raise a family of his own someday."

    But, the lawyer alleges, the alien couple were shocked to discover the Zertonian adoption broker had shipped their son to Earth.

    They were even more concerned when they flew down here and got a peek at him frolicking at the Neverland Ranch.

    "We were most displeased," they say in the lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles.

    "Kerz-na doesn't even look like an Earthling. His face is terrifying, even to us.

    "Kerz-na was placed on a stage at a very early age and told to perform. This yelling and jumping around has clearly damaged his brain. He doesn't even live in a proper home! It's some kind of children's amusement park with monkeys.

    "He needs our help. We're not blaming anyone. If anyone is to blame it's us for giving him away. His mother is heartbroken." Mr. and Mrs. Zortron say they won't make trouble for the Jackson family. They just want their baby back.

    "The Zortron's are quite sure that Michael's family will send him back to Zertonia with no problem," says Leavent, who is reportedly the subject of a Bar Association investigation for making "highly dubious claims related to the practice of law."

    According to the lawsuit, Mr. Zortron says as soon as custody is granted he will be on the first space ship to Earth to take his son home and make him a real man.

    "Kerz-na already has a job lined up at my flying saucer garage," he explains. "Those guys won't put up with any of the nonsense he's gotten away with on Earth!"
  2. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    You watched "Independence Day" on HBO today, didn't you???

    both times???

  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Maybe Mr and Mrs Zortron should hire someone to help them out. Let's see.... Who could they get? Hmmm..... Parents want their child back, the legal system takes too long, Hmmm.... Oh yeah, they could get Franken Reno to help. She knows how to kidnap, uh, I mean safely remove children. Haha.
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