All hail the Pope

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Allen, Aug 10, 2010.

  1. Allen

    Allen Monkey+

    The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same
    stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said,
    "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand
    I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?
    This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

    Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that ....
    with one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

    So the Pope backhanded the bitch!

    Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn't it?
  2. bnmb

    bnmb On Hiatus Banned

    ROFL!...A good one!...even thou I'll have to google who that Pelosi chick is...
  3. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Now that's HILARIOUS!!!!
  4. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    OH if were only true. I would do a dance on the keyboard to see that.
  5. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    I would slam a 4oz. of colt 45 to see you dance on the keyboard to see that.
  6. bnmb

    bnmb On Hiatus Banned

    Since I have no idea who that Pelosi is, I would just get drunk and fall asleep... [booze]
  7. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    You aren't missing anything useful. Suffice it to say that Botox didn't improve her looks, and a couple cc's in her brain box would.
  8. bnmb

    bnmb On Hiatus Banned

    OK...I'm glad I don't know her... [booze]
  9. towcritter

    towcritter Monkey+

    Q: What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?

    A: The Pope only wants you to kiss his ring.
  10. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.

    The Pope: "I am the pope."

    St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."

    The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."

    St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."

    The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."

    St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."

    St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.

    St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."

    God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)

    Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"

    God and St. Peter explain the situation.

    Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."

    Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.

    Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"

    (I love that one)

    Another good one:

    A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"

    "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.

    "Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

    The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

    "I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."
  11. bnmb

    bnmb On Hiatus Banned boss can kiss my...ring!
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