Citizens of the American Region of the New World Order, today we have many reasons to be thankful to our Great and Maximum Leader, President Obama! Our rations of ObamaSlices, made of 50% GMO soybeans and 50% healthful pulverized mineral-rich rock, have been doubled! Yes, citizens, instead of one ObamaSlice you will now get two NewObamaSlices for every meal! To avoid waste, each NewObamaSlice will be one third the thickness of the old ObamaSlice. Water will be provided with every meal. Your mandatory Television Enjoyment Time has been increased from three hours to four! During this time you will be treated to the best social programming that our Department of Citizen Obedience can provide. Remember, such antisocial acts as closing your eyes, talking or thinking unapproved thoughts will be corrected by gentle electrical currents supplied by your Citizen Implants. Let us all enjoy our new extra hour of Television Enjoyment Time as a deserved break from our enthusiastic twelve hours of work as assigned by our Department of Citizen Production! Our Great and Maximum Leader, President Obama, has generously given the water in Lake Mandela, formerly Lake Superior, to the Chinese Food Production Collective Authority! All citizens of the American Region who have selflessly volunteered to work for the Chinese Food Production Collective Authority will be overjoyed to know that there will be enough water to cover every rice paddy in which they will be assigned to work. The names of those citizens who have selflessly volunteered to work in the Chinese Food Production Collective Authority rice paddies will be chosen by the Department of Citizen Production and distributed to all sections of the American Region. Remember, the rice produced has also been generously promised to the Chinese and any citizens of the American Region found withholding or eating any of the rice will be properly punished by the Department of Citizen Disposal. Lastly, we salute the wise and foresightful action of the Reconstituted United Regions, formerly the United Nations, in appointing our Great and Maximum Leader, President Michelle Obama, for another term in office after taking the reins of government after the untimely passing of our beloved former Great and Maximum Leader, Barrack Obama. All praise and obedience to our Great and Maximum Leader, Michelle Obama!
Nice read, kill me now... No wait I'll wager a weekend ration of obama slices and 3 condoms( "Dhs approved!", the good ones: "barbed for nobodies pleasure!") I can take 5 or more dedicated citizen atittude correctional specialist with me...If I win you can pay my state appointed roommate LUH 347... scary stuff, don't see it getting that far without expending all this ammunition recently horded by the crazy right wing nut jobs
I figure in 25 years, the Southern United States of America and the Western United States of America will be sending foreign aid shipments in food and medicine to the destitute third world nations of the North Eastern Liberal States and the California Communist Collective. I expect the North will have a couple new (post-humously dedicated) national holidays for the obamas. They will, every year, trot out the animatronic-enhanced withered husk of Madame Speaker Pelosi to give the pep talk to The Adoring Masses.
