Any of y'all find a warm body to spend the apocalypse with?

I ain't married, and ain't got none kids. Not my excellent grammar. I am close with my family, but they live far and wide.
I find myself in what I'm guessing is a pretty common per-dicament. I wants me a gal to drag into mah cave to keep my aging bones warm on winter nights, have long discussions about the impending AI takeover with, and to share my passion for guns and politics of the Right wing variety.
Like those of you in the same pickle, one doesn't know where to start. I have served my time in the trenches of online dating services. No thank you. While wanting a gal with an IQ that can challenge my own, and a rapier wit to match my jocular genius, the lower part of my body keeps shouting "Big tits! Big ass!" in exemplary heathen style. While wanting a reader of books and lover of science and art, I find the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose indispensable in a woman. You get the picture.
So where to start...
I was perusing that Meetup.com site today and noted upcoming gatherings (that's right, I'm even willing to go out my front door and occupy space with other humans) for 2A enthusiasts or fellow Right-wingers. So that's something I might have to drag myself to.
Trouble is, at 61--to my amazement--the coeds just don't seem to notice me anymore. Damndest thing.

 

Finding someone worth a dam is tough. You are more likely to end up with someone who make life harder. I also keep my eyes open for someone who can pickup their end of the couch.

 

Sadly, your first point is too often true. And the older we get, the more well we know ourselves, the more we know what we don't want in another person, making it harder.
What you said about picking up their end of the couch...Yes, fitness, which I neglected to mention earlier, is a very big part of my life. For every reason--health, strength, mobility, attractiveness--fitness would have to be important to the woman I seek as well.
*sigh* Guess I'll start looking at sex robots...

 

I was referring to everything. Would this woman help you? Support you? A giver or a taker.

 

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