are you a democrat, a republican or a redneck?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by tacmotusn, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the Knife and charges at you.

    You are carrying a fully loaded Glock .40 cal pistol and you are an expert shot.

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    .............................................................. .....


    Democrat's Answer
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican's Answer:


    Redneck's Answer:


    Click...... (Sounds of reloading)


    Redneck Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Redneck Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
    Redneck Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist​
  2. GMan

    GMan Monkey++

    Um... Redneck. Got a problem with that? ;-)
  3. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Nah.... here buddy have another box of cartridges for that .40[beer]
  4. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Well now I know what I am:
    a redneck for sure!
    Glad I took the test as it were!
  5. GMan

    GMan Monkey++

    Pity it was a written test, I'd have enjoyed and practical exercise. [rofllmao]
  6. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Republican; I'd get him with the first shot :D.
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    That's my girl...! [beer]
  8. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    But, have you seen any of the Friday the 13th movies? or ditto any of the Halloween ones? or ...
    the original or remake of "getaway"?

    My point is no matter how good you think your shot was ..... it's always possible that they might be able to get up somehow. A good Quick Triple Tap .... two to the torso to put them down and makes the third shot easier. And a third to the coconut. Ain't no way their getting up! Just make it all fairly rapid, so as not to seem as a premeditated execution. JMHO of course.
  9. dukenukum

    dukenukum Monkey+++

    RED NECK [gun]
  10. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    A BUBBA! TWO IN THE CENTER OF MASS double FAST, one more focused to the errr, "cocoa nut". Its's What "Pogo" the firearms instructor taught us. Only one side of a story for court
    , winners get to testify.Losers; errr... lose.

    " But why did you shoot my client mr smith 6 times?
    "Because my gun doesn't hold 7".
  11. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Islamic terrorists don't use knives [troll]
  12. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Are you sure.....? Tell that to David Pearl's friends and relatives.seesaw [gun][gun][gun]
  13. ikean

    ikean Monkey++

  14. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    failed attempt of sarcasism on my part :D

    Im a Redneck
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