Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Legion489, Mar 8, 2017.

  1. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    And two small children.

    Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities,
    raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?


    Democrat's Answer:

    � Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    � What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

    � Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    � Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

    � Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    � Could we run away?

    � What does my wife think?

    � What about the kids?

    � Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    � What does the law say about this situation?

    � Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    � Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    � Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    � Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    � If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    � Should I call 9-1-1?

    � Why is this street so deserted?

    � We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

    � Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    � I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    � This is all so confusing!

    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ........ .

    Republican's Answer:


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......

    Southerner's Answer:

    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!Not after the trouble we had with the last one you took in!
  2. Trouble

    Trouble Monkey

    And here I thought the Southerner would step to the side so he don't get in the way of his wife when the terrorist threatens her kids...
  3. Oltymer

    Oltymer Monkey++

    C'mon guys, that's a crude stereotype of a Southerner. Everybody down here knows that after 7 shots from a 1911 you finish them off with your knife, if they need finishing, and save the spare mag for your next encounter or target shooting in the backyard after church on Sunday.
    Dunerunner, Aeason, oldawg and 8 others like this.
  4. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    LOL, Must be a Liberal then, I would liberally hose said assailant with 10 mm Golden Sabers out of my Double Stack 1911 until slide lock, stepping aside for the Wife to continue Liberally firing her Compact 1911 .45 into said tango, whilst my Boys would be covering our flanks with there 1911's!!! After Action report would show a reddish purple stain and shreds of clothing and bone fragments of what might have been a male subject with a knife. Bring a Mop and Bucket!
  5. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    I thought southerners used them for cat fish bait .
  6. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Gator's won't eat that, I doubt catfish would either... Maybe mud bugs???
  7. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    That just destroyed my taste for mudbugs.
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