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Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member


    In case things get a little tougher during the next few months, we In ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, TEXAS & OKLAHOMA have a plan.

    Maybe you don't know it, but ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, TEXAS & OKLAHOMA have a legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the Texas/Louisiana-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

    Us ARKLATEXOMANS love y'all Americans, but we'll probably have to take action since Barack Obama won the election and is now the President of the U.S.A. We'll miss ya'll though.

    Here is what may happen:

    1. Barack Hussein Obama, after becoming the President of the United States , begins to try and create a socialist country, then ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, TEXAS & OKLAHOMA announces that they are going to secede from the Union .

    2. Chuck Norris becomes the President of the Republic of ARKLATEXOMA .

    So what does ARKLATEXOMA have to do to survive as a Republic?

    1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space industry.

    2. We refine over 90% of the gasoline in the United States .

    3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with TEXAS ," will take on a whole new meaning.

    4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of ARKLATEXOMA will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we don't know. Why not ask Obama?

    5. Natural Gas - again, we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will just have to figure out a way to keep them warm...

    6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications equipment - small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Nortel, Alcatel, etc. The list goes on and on.

    7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers.

    8. We have enough colleges to keep educating and making smarter citizens: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, University of Oklahoma , Oklahoma State University, UL-Lafayette, UL-Monroe, LSU, Louisiana Tech University , University of Arkansas , Arkansas State University , Baylor, Rice, TCU, SMU and MANY more.

    9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force and it isn't restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in ARKLATEXOMA, we are a Right-to-Work State and, therefore, it's every man and woman for themselves. We just go out and get the job done.. And if we don't like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.

    10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc.

    11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the ARKLATEXOMA National Guard, the ARKLATEXOMA Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six guns and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers.

    12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. We don't need any food from somewhere else.

    13. FIVE of the ten largest cities in the United States and THIRTY TWO of the 100 largest cities in the United States are located in ARKLATEXOMA. And ARKLATEXOMA also has more land than California , New York , New Jersey , Connecticut , Delaware , Hawaii , Massachusetts , Maryland , Rhode Island and Vermont combined.

    14. Trade: FIVE of the ten largest ports in the United States are located in ARKLATEXOMA.

    15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't need to. You see, nothing rusts in ARKLATEXOMA so our vehicles stay beautiful and run well for decades.

    This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of ARKLATEXOMA in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

    Now to the rest of you folks in the United States under President Obama:

    Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

    You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications.

    You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Al Gore has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

    In other words, the rest of ya'll in the USA are screwed!

    Signed, The People of ARKLATEXOMA

    P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about!

    Sleep well tonight 'cause the eyes of ARKLATEXOMA are on YOU!!
  2. SoCal09

    SoCal09 Monkey++

  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Nice! :)
  4. snuffysmith

    snuffysmith Monkey+++ Founding Member

    As a resident and native of Arkansas; I like the idea. Just give me a couple weeks to get my stuff together and I'll be ready for the change.

  5. Allen

    Allen Monkey+

    With Chuck Norris as Pres, Ted Nugent as Sec of State, Ron Paul as Sec of the Treasury. What other jobs can we offer.
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Dick Cheney as SecDef. Ollie North as Chairman, Joint Chiefs.
  7. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    I always wanted to move to Arklatexoma....even if the text editor disagrees with me.
  8. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    Oh Yeah?
    Well,.... "WE" here in Arizona have: sand, scorpions, rattlesnakes and Illegal aliens!
    Yup! We are right up there with Kalifornia!
    ( I'm going to my room now and have myself a good cry!)
  9. Clyde

    Clyde Jet Set Tourer Administrator Founding Member

    Please, do it. Lay the ground work. Let the voters decide!
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  10. jungatheart

    jungatheart Beginner's Mind

    Wouldn't it be nice...................
  11. fireplaceguy

    fireplaceguy Monkey+

    I keep telling my buddies in Texas that if they'd get with it and secede, I'll pack up and join them. It's starting to look like I should make that move preemptively.

    Great post, Minuteman!
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