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As Only the Irish Can Tell A Story

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Aug 9, 2017.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

    It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

    So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Jim took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat... And nearly drowned!

    Jim just barely managed to pull him to safety.

    Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother . "Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

    Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"
     
    Mindy Sue, hank2222, M118LR and 11 others like this.
  2. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Yep, Walking on Water is really easy..... You just gots to wait for it to get "Stiff"....
    We do it every winter,up on the Lake....
     
    hank2222 and Tully Mars like this.
  3. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    I just got a new T-shirt for St. Paddy's Day. It is Irish Green and has these words stacked vertically:

    Whale
    Oil
    Beef
    Hooked.

    Took my sister several minutes to work it out.
     
    M118LR, Sapper John, GOG and 2 others like this.
  4. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    Errrr...I don't get it....even googled it and google doesn't get it...and what the great Google God doesn't know cannot exist in the verse so...so what does it mean?????
     
  5. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Took me just under half a minute. But then again, there were a LOT of first generation Irish where I grew up. I hate to steal the thunder from Wolfie, so will let it ride for now. Will translate completely later today if needed. But for now, mispronounce "well" and go from there.
     
  6. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Run it all together, with a bit of Irish accent. :)
     
    Sapper John, ghrit and Dunerunner like this.
  7. sec_monkey

    sec_monkey SM Security Administrator

    ghrit likes this.
  8. M118LR

    M118LR Caution: Does not play well with others.

    Well I'll be fooked, google doesn't get it?
     
  9. techsar

    techsar Monkey+++

    That's as bad as:
    Mr snakes. Mr not. R2, cdedbdii? MR snakes!
     
  10. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Not Irish, but --
    ABCD goldfish?
    LMNO goldfish!
    SARD goldfish.
    But AB knew they weren't.
     
  11. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

    Difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

    One less drunk.
     
    M118LR, Seawolf1090 and Bandit99 like this.
  12. M118LR

    M118LR Caution: Does not play well with others.

    I've heard that said about the Polish, with far more feeling!
     
  13. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    RM ducks?
    No M8 ducks.
    SMR2 ducks! CM wangs?
     
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