Assault Spork

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by OldDude49, Sep 4, 2019.

  1. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    My Assault Spork – From My Cold Dead Hands
    Dr LateBloomer
    August 31, 2019

    Anybody read about New York Governor Cuomo and his “undetectable knife” law?

    Yeah, so I just bought a spork/knife combination on Amazon so I could have some type of eating utensil in my get home bag. The spork happens to have a serrated plastic knife in the handle. And it’s black. I guess that makes it an “Assault Spork”. Yeah, scary – woooooo.

    Because the bag containing that spork resides in my car, I guess I’m now going have to worry about driving through New York State even if I’m NOT carrying firearms. What a pile of thoughtless feelgoodism the state legislature and governor have scraped off the barn floor. Banning the manufacture and possession of such items makes us all “safer” … or something.

    “Undetectable knives are meant to be used by trained members of our police and military forces for covert operations — not regular civilians attempting to sneak weapons past metal detectors,” Cuomo said.”

    … or by you know – picnickers and families on campouts – because you are a moron, Mr. Cuomo. Can you say “unintended consequences”? If these knives are “undetectable”, how do you propose to enforce this law? When you make inanimate objects illegal, people automatically give them up, right? Prison inmates do that ALL the time. Are you going to institute house-to-house searches?

    Have there really been that many people trying to slip knives past metal detectors? How would you know, exactly? Unless you resorted to pat-downs and random cavity searches besides the metal detectors, I mean.

    What exactly do police need with “undetectable knives” anyway? If some random beat cop needs one, then I should need one too, just on general principle, right?

    There is just too much stupid here to even wrap my head around. I could sharpen my toothbrush into a prison shiv and it would be an “undetectable knife”, you morons. How sharp does a hunk of plastic have to be before it becomes an “undetectable knife”? How about a piece of bone or flint?

    Yes, I know that the law was meant to include ceramics and other modern composite materials, rather than picnic cutlery or archeological artifacts, but no innocent person has EVER been caught up in a badly written law, now have they? My “assault spork” and I dare you to say that it won’t ever happen. Especially in New York.

    This is just more impotent demonization of objects in place of controlling human behavior. We are NOT the Freaking UK, people!! We HAVE a Constitution. Get a Grip! Knives are bearable arms, too!

    The spork portion of my new purchase is not terribly large or dangerous, but the knife portion IS a knife. It’s fairly rigid and serrated. I was able to slice off a hunk of homemade bread, slice a roma tomato, slice an orange peel, and stab an apple with it. It would hurt somebody if stabbed in the soft parts, but probably isn’t long enough to be deadly, and likely wouldn’t even penetrate heavy clothing. I don’t think your lawyer could argue a judge into believing that this isn’t really a knife. It’s just not a particularly scary one – even though it’s made of “undetectable” plastic.

    Just a mild mannered butter knife.
    Assault mode activated.
    You know what the real kicker here is? This item is made in Olean, NY. I predict that this will soon be another manufacturing operation which abandons New York State for greener (and freer) pastures. If so, good riddance, and may they shake the dust from their sandals when they leave.

    My Assault Spork - From My Cold Dead Hands - GAT Daily (Guns Ammo Tactical)
  2. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey Site Supporter+++

    Oh my!! Look what THING did to that apple. I am pulling that evil, black thing out of my pack and , oh, wait, I live in Idaho! We are constitutionally protected in our choices of cutlery and how we choose to carry them.

    Ignorant Shits!!
    Gator 45/70, oldawg, SB21 and 3 others like this.
  3. Altoidfishfins

    Altoidfishfins Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    Yeah it's ridiculous.
    Problem is, if you're caught with one of these in NY, you may be found not guilty and avoid prison only after you spend $25,000 on a lawyer.
    Gator 45/70, oldawg, SB21 and 3 others like this.
  4. Oddcaliber

    Oddcaliber Monkey++

    Only shows how out of reality New York state is.
  5. Criminals can't be prosecuted, no matter how vile their crimes, but normally law-abiding citizens are harassed by increasingly insane laws.
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki, SB21 and 2 others like this.
  6. snake6264

    snake6264 Combat flip flop douchebag

    the knife is not large but I could kill someone with if I had too and its well made I honestly thought it was a novelty but alass I was very suprised
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki and SB21 like this.
  7. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    One of our great American pastimes will be next , because of that evil assault bat . Look at how many times that bat has hit a ball out over that fence !!
    We live in a world that has this new generation that is finding fault with thousands of years of innovations , cultures, lifestyles, and traditions . The majority of these pisswads haven't made it out of their parents basement , and barely gotten off the block they grew up on . and they think they know what's best for the US , and the world .And they want everything changed because of their coddled , spoiled , pandered asses . I think our only savior in this situation , is if we can just get this generation to just quickly die off like the dinosaurs did .
    Gator 45/70, Oddcaliber and Ura-Ki like this.
  8. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    Ah, when ever some one decided to ban something, I will automatically buy three of them!
    No one has the right to tell me how to live my life, whats good for me, or what I can or cannot do!
    No one has the right to tell me where my rights begin or end!
    Let them eat cake, i'm going to figure out how to put a shaving edge on these!
    Gator 45/70, SB21 and Oddcaliber like this.
  9. Oddcaliber

    Oddcaliber Monkey++

    Any local supermarket with a hot bar will give you an "Asault" knife, for free! So will any fast food chain.
    Gator 45/70 likes this.
  10. natshare

    natshare Monkey+++

    Allow me to correct that for you. Only shows how out of reality the LIBERAL "LEADERSHIP" of New York state is. Get outside the big cities, and, much like anywhere else in the country, the people are down to earth and NOT this foolish. Unfortunately, as it is in many "blue" states, those New Yorkers are held hostage, at the polls, because they are outnumbered by the liberal loons, in the cities, who continue voting "King Andy" back into office. :eek::mad::(

    Yep! Wondering how long it will be, before some overzealous moron with a badge, will bust some picnickers, because of the disposable plastic knives they're using?? :rolleyes::rolleyes:(n)
    Gator 45/70 and Oddcaliber like this.
  11. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Some assault sporks are just plain a$$h0lz. Well fork them and let the ban begin.
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
    Gator 45/70 and Oddcaliber like this.
  12. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    perhaps what states need is a electoral college style system... say by county? So the high pop blue areas have less power?

    would stop them from running rough shod over the rights of the minority?
  13. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Rural areas would have to have supermajority power to make that happen and likely enough citizen votes to change the state constitution.
    Gator 45/70 likes this.
  14. Oddcaliber

    Oddcaliber Monkey++

    What's truly undetectable in the New York state legislation is common sense!
    SB21, OldDude49 and mysterymet like this.
  15. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    That seems to be a growing problem nationwide.
    OldDude49, oldawg and Oddcaliber like this.
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