Best fighting skills ever

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Bishop, May 21, 2018.

  1. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    Wish I could fight all of theses Masters at the same time they would get bish slapped by the force with in me mainly in my hands and feet.

    Hanzo, Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki and 2 others like this.
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor Site Supporter+

    I think this thread should be moved to the jokes and humor section. jmho
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki, ochit and 2 others like this.
  3. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    If it was belly bucking I'd have a chance.
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki, Dont and 2 others like this.
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki and ochit like this.
  5. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    I watched until I saw the Karate Master beat the snot out of one of these 'use the force' yahoos, that was enough... One could say this is a good example of what happens when unrealistic assumptions goes against reality, unarmed against armed. And, yet they still scream for more gun control and/or the repeal of the 2nd... Molon Labe!
  6. ochit

    ochit Monkey+

    my mother had the slapping style down she was so fast you never saw her hand move. I am not sure if this is humor more stupidity ? anyone that believes there is a (force) has eaten too many star wars comics and the ink has effected their brain, must be the GMO vegetable ink :rolleyes:

    All I know is learn all the proper or real skills of the mainstream self defense techniques some work better for some folks and knowing all the dirty tricks doesn't hurt either,
  7. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    Um-kay, not what I was thinking! Lol
    I have trained in mixed for close to 30 years, and even now, my old and broken fat ass could put a whoppin on all those boys! The one I focused on all these years is Krav Maga, and it's very effective, especially when combined with some of the other disciplines!
    Bandit99, ochit, SB21 and 2 others like this.
  8. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    I missed the Millennial stye or was that the slapping part?
    Bandit99, Yard Dart and ochit like this.
  9. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    I know what your sayin Ochit,,,,to this day ,,,I swear my Mom and Dad were secret Ninja's,,,
  10. ochit

    ochit Monkey+

    Hell yea you thought you had a defense and pop like an uppercut slap then there was her combination her handwork was incalculable you thought it was the left coming and pop it was you were too late LMAO. I still think fondly of my mother I loved her and she was like all good mothers better to me than I deserved, All I know is that when she popped me I deserved it and she made me a better person. all this new parenting is apparently producing a toxic society look at all the school shootings the horrible way people project themselves in social media some children have committed suicide over being cyber bullied on both sides of that it is terrible, I like it better when we met on the playground and beat the snot out of each other mano e mano or in a free for all when someone broke protocol and jumped in.
    Ura-Ki likes this.
  11. Altoidfishfins

    Altoidfishfins Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    How to survive a knife attack...

    Attached Files:

    HK_User, oldawg, Hanzo and 4 others like this.
  12. ochit

    ochit Monkey+

    don't bleed too much before you rake them out.
    Ura-Ki likes this.
  13. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    Never bring a knife to a knife fight! Lol
    Some one is dumb enough to pull a blade, he better damn well know how to use it or he is gettin stuck with it! I'm to old and lazy and fat now days, so the blades start coming out, so does my 1911 and some body is gettin shot! Simple, effective, deadly! Dead men tell no tails! Better judged by 12 then carried by 6! I can always get another 1911, not so much a new spleen!
    Hanzo, ochit, Bandit99 and 2 others like this.
  14. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    I would like to see that Bish slapping the "masters" video. Be careful of those calling themselves masters. I would never call myself anything like that. First thing I tell my students is that I am not very good, so adjust their expectations. If they join the class, I give them my best, for what it's worth. But they can't beat the price. I do not charge anything. So you could say they always get their money's worth.

    One time, one of my teachers put some of my young classmates into a tournament, just to prove a point. His point was intesity of training can beat long time of training (if the long time is not intense). So our late teenage and early twenties students were trained for only six months and entered into this "Challenge of the Masters" tournament. The masters were all promoting themselves or something they were selling. All 20+ years masters. So when we showed up, first thing they say is black belt only. We do not use a belt system, so the teacher says yup, we are all black belt. He was not lying. We all had a black belt for our pants at home.

    Long story short, the young guys at the very least held their own against the "masters." So they all felt very confident after. Had to make sure they understood that yes, it is good. And they did well. But too much confidence...

    You can see in the video. The one guys that got run over, looks like he was getting the crap knocked out of him and trying to hold it in. :whistle:
    HK_User and Gator 45/70 like this.
  15. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Who knew that Benny Hinn is a martial artist? Benny's chi attacks are spectacularly successful at separating his marks' money from their purses and wallets. "Let the bodies hit the floor". ;)

    The OP video just goes to show that there's a difference between theatrical exhibition, and fighting for your life survival combat.
    Last edited: May 26, 2018
    Hanzo and Gator 45/70 like this.
  16. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Rolling on the floor until I re-read it. Thot you said Benny Hill.
    HK_User, Hanzo and Gator 45/70 like this.
  17. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    I want too see you kicking some butt Chello ol
    HK_User, Hanzo and chelloveck like this.
  18. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I think my interpretive Wang Chung dance is more punishing than my Wing Chun. When I Wang Chung...everyone gets an @rse kicking....including myself....:p
    Meat, Gator 45/70 and Hanzo like this.
  19. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Kicking our own asses is part of my normal cool down. I tell my students to kick their own butts good job. Stretch the quads and you can't take yourself too serious when someone tells you to kick our own butt. So we leave like how we come in... humble.
    HK_User, chelloveck and Gator 45/70 like this.
  20. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Best CQC advice I've seen for a long while.
    oldawg and Hanzo like this.
survivalmonkey SSL seal warrant canary