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Best of Show

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Ganado, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    The short one, Connie, leaned over and said: “Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!”

    “You're on!” said Evelyn, holding up a $10 bill.

    So Connie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes. She grabbed a dried flower from a nearby display and held it between her teeth. Then, completely naked, streaked through the front door.

    Her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling Connie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

    “What happened?” asked Evelyn.

    “I won $1,000 as first prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement'...”
    duane, Dunerunner, tacmotusn and 8 others like this.
  2. Salted Weapon

    Salted Weapon West Coast Monkey

  3. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    I'd like to save a little time here, so I'll just write the punchline:

    And then the Scotsman woke up and looked down and said "Well, laddie, I don't know where ye've been, but I see ye won first prize!"
    Aeason and Ganado like this.
  4. Kingfish

    Kingfish Self Reliant

    The Kingfisher Chuckles
    Ganado likes this.
  5. enloopious

    enloopious Rocket Surgeon

    That is vulgar and disgusting... boobies flopping everywhere... nakedness... perfectly formed round buttocks...
  6. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Monkey

    Oh, well.... At least it was a nice prize!! [bow] [LMAO]
  7. duane

    duane Monkey++

    What kind of flower was it? A common or unique one? Oh I get it now, it was a joke.
    Sometimes I am kind of like my distant Scottish ancestors, the Irish say they gave the Scots the bagpipes two thousand years ago as a joke and the Scots haven't caught on yet!
    Ganado likes this.
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    hehehe. The Scots caught on early and use the pipes to plague those Irish sots that thot it was funny ---
  9. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    Did you know the bagpipes actually came from the middle east? The Scottish did not invent them. those goat and sheep herders in the desert invented bagpipes
  10. duane

    duane Monkey++

    Funny about the pipes, close up and such they sound like h***, but in the distance on a foggy morning and with the right tune, they can take my breath away and make me cry. Don't know why, but they strike some primeval nerve in me at times. They are kind of like taps on a bugle, somehow beyond music. Now I know that doesn't belong in humor forum, but the best of humor makes you take a real look at what is really happening in the world, kind of like gallows humor, given a choice of laughing and crying, it takes less effort to laugh than cry.
    Minuteman, kellory and Ganado like this.
  11. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Agreed. It is said "clowns cry on the inside". Humor is also about seeing the other side of things. "Lost his foot?....well, at least he will only need to polish one boot now...."
    duane and Minuteman like this.
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