Best uses for the UN rag I mean flag

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by monkeyman, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I was looking around the web for UN toilet paper and found this so figured I would copy it here.

    101 Ways To Use The U.N. Flag
    Borrowed from the Idaho Observer

    Air-sickness bags (put the UN logo inside the bag - no point in making people sick just by seeing the bag)

    Artillery reference point - to fire at for effect

    Bath towel - to wipe certain body parts

    Bird cage liner

    Burn at patriotic rallies

    Candle/lamp wicks

    Cat bed liner - to keep the fleas off your good blankie

    Cat box liner

    Cat litter

    Cat scratching post - to wrap around the post and let your cat get its claws into - good kitty!!!

    Chainsaw wipe down rag

    Chimney sweep rag

    Chimney sweep tarp - to protect your carpet from soot


    Corpse blanket to wrap up the dead politicians, BATF, FBI, FEMA, etc., or anyone else who tries to collect our guns.

    Dart board backdrop

    Diapers - turned out, not in

    Dipstick rag carried under the hood of your vehicle

    Dog urine wheel protectors

    Doggy chastity belt

    Doggy chew toy

    Dog poop cleaner upper

    Doormats - to wipe muddy feet on, at home or place of business

    Dryer vent filter/lint catcher

    Drop cloth - to use while you are painting and other dirty jobs

    Dust rag

    Emergency heating fuel - burn in fireplace

    Feminine napkins

    Fill material in nuclear waste shipping containers

    Filler material in roofing shingles

    Fire starter - soak in kerosene

    Food - to cram down the throats of crooked politicians, lawyers, and judges

    Food wrapper - to wrap spoiled food in; especially good for rotten fish parts

    Garage - if your car has oil leaks, you should have one under it to keep garage clean

    Garbage can liner

    Goat feed - to feed your goats - except your favorite one, of course

    Gun cleaning rags, sold at gun shows

    Gutter rag

    Handkerchief - use to blow your nose on

    Hang one out the bottom of your driver's door, into the street, dragging through the mud as an excellent way to initiate a UN conversation

    Ink blotter


    Kitchen towel - to clean up all the grease and grime & keep your other towels clean

    Molotov cocktails


    Mud flaps

    Nuclear waste filler - put in nuclear waste containers

    On the floor under junior's high chair for food droppings

    Outhouse wallpaper - tack up on the outhouse walls (could be used for TP later

    Outhouse wipes (use with caution, may cause rash)

    Overalls - put them on the butt of your bib overalls

    Paint brush cleaning rag - to clean up all your old paint brushes with

    Paint filter - use to strain your old paint with

    Panty hose laundry bag - tie up your panty hose in them when you wash them

    Print them on rolls of toilet paper

    Puppy house-training - Scotchgard coated for repeated use

    Put it in a jar of urine and call it art

    Road patch - place flag in pothole, pour tar generously, pack down

    Suppositories - for Bill and Hillary to use

    Send to drug king pins (or CIA) for wrapping illegal drugs

    Shoe polish rag

    Shop rags

    Table cloth - for when your one-year old grandchild is coming over

    Targets - add numbers to the lines of latitude and you've got an excellent range target

    Temporary gas cap

    Test acids on

    Toilet seat liner - drape over the toilet seat for sanitation reasons; flush after use

    Trench liner - to line slit trenches with

    Under grandpa's spittoon

    Vomit bucket, when you have stomach flu

    Wrap spoiled food in, for disposal
  2. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    In place of Depens in old folk's homes. :D
  3. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Catch the gut pile on when butchering, just keep it off the meat so it dosent taint it.

    Think if I get the chance should pick one up for a foot mat for June.
  4. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

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