Brilliant Or Other?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Meat, May 2, 2021 at 8:56.


  1. Meat

    Meat Monkey+++

    My friend gets into an argument with his wife. Unfortunately a box of cookies ends up on the kitchen floor, he leaves. When he returns the kitchen is spotless but he finds the cookies Monday morning, in his work boots! I say brilliant on the part of his ex-wife! Lol. Add yours if you like. I have some more as well.
     
    SB21, techsar and Gator 45/70 like this.
  2. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    I once tried calling home for 2 hours to get supper ready.
    I walked in the door and the now ex was still yacking away.
    I grabbed the phone and threw it in the yard.
    I don't remember much after that, Pretty sure I didn't eat that night?
     
    Alf60, Ura-Ki, SB21 and 3 others like this.
  3. Meat

    Meat Monkey+++

    My SIL was applying for the Iron Workers apprenticeship. Part of the test was packing 90 lbs of re-bar back and forth under an allotted time. I told him to go to Home Depot, buy the desired weight and bundle it up. Practice and practice some more then......Return said bar for a full refund. Done successfully, all of it! Dishonest or ? Lol. :D
     
  4. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    Found the fresh package of tater chips all busted up into bits in my lunch.

    Went home and said to wife, I said to work mates " I guess I did something wrong at home and dumped the mess on the work table".

    Wife's mouth fell open, it never happened again.
     
  5. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    Had something like that happen.

    Except wife was in Hospital and room mate had the phone.

    When wife found out I had been trying to call for hours and before lights out (I called the nursing station worried that something was wrong)
    Wife (in front of a nurse) grabbed a stainless bed pan and threw it into the hall!
    It was like an alarm bell going off.
    Stating "Get that Aunt Jemima bitch out of here".
    Never had a problem calling in after that,
    Bitch was gone.

    And for any who would wish to denigrate my wife, she is long gone and always spoke her mind.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2021 at 11:44
  6. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Did something similar. I was buying a house directly from a friend and over the back porch was a cover that was missing some fiberglass panels. No problem for me, because I was going to replace the whole works first thing, Unfortunately, the underwriters refused to allow the mortgage unless it was fixed and had to send them a picture of the completed work.

    I ran down to Home Depot and bought the panels and some painter's tape. Slapped the panels up using the tape as necessary, then took the pictures, I immediately took the panels back down and returned them to get my money back. Then I dropped the pictures off and viola, owned my first house.
     
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki, HK_User and 2 others like this.
  7. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    Years ago , my uncle , long since passed away , telling his wife the least she could do was fix his lunch for work . The next day , he bit into his bologna sandwich with the red band still on the bologna,, and the cheese still wrapped . Divorce was in the cards .
     
  8. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    My wife, even today, spoils me rotten.

    But then, I do the dishes when I don't cook, iron my own clothes (fussy on seams) and make my own lunch, that way, I get what I want to eat.

    She does the laundry (sorts stuff into like 20 piles, I just do 'mostly white' & dark), does the grocery shopping for the most part. I do all the auto stuff, and we split the yard and garden chores....

    Wife works a full time job, it takes two to make things work....
     
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