Bubba Cover-alls

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seacowboys, Sep 11, 2006.


  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

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    Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...

    "You know you're a redneck when......

    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

    7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.

    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    21. You consider your license plate personalized
    because your father made it.

    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood
    and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
    because you were on jury duty.

    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.



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  2. Bear

    Bear Monkey+++ Site Supporter+++ Founding Member Iron Monkey

    I resemble more than a couple of those :D
     
  3. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    16 tickles me hugely. One might also make a case for making it yourself --
     
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    We've always had "Bubba's" ...Heck, I even had an Uncle Bubba....

    The new thing now is Buddy......









    but that's just Bubba with an MBA. :unsure:
     
  5. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    # 8 has been known to be me :D
     
  6. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I must not be a redneck, I could only find about 15 of them that applied and figure you must have to meet all the requirements. lol
     
  7. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    I don't think this is beyond a reasonable doubt, I think a preponderance of evidence would convince the jury.
     
  8. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :eek: My boss calls everybody "Bud."
     
  9. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Probably can't remember names to save his rump?:D
     
  10. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Oops, I figured it was at least like a gradeing scale where under 60% you failed to meet the standard. lol
     
  11. ricdoug

    ricdoug Monkey+++

    I MUST be a Redneck! Ric
     
  12. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :lol: I won't rat you out.
     
  13. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Those are great! Now when people come to look at the house and invariably ask why we're moving, the wife says she has to get the redneck back in his element so off to Pahrump we're moving. Pahrump is full of guns, cowboy hats and pickups - woohoo! :D
     
  14. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Not to mention the cat house museum --:D
     
  15. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Yep, several brothels and a brothel museum! :D

    Well, watched the Busch race today and am waitin' on Nascar tomorrow! :sneaky:
     
  16. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Foxworthy is in town this weekend.
     
  17. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Well we dont have a race track around here but they do have the grounds where they do most of the bigger tractor pulls in our area just 2 properties away from us, the smaller ones are at the fair grounds in the towns 5 miles or so in either direction. Seems they have had a big one going this weekend with lots of RVs and so on come out for the event and loads of folks showing up at the store for more beer, smokes, chew and what ever other odds and ends.

    I can honestly say though I have never paid to go to them, the only ones I have stoped to watch were the ones at the town fairs along with the rodeos. So dose that mean I are civilized and not a red neck Bubba?















    I hope not. lol
     
  18. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Civilized Bubba? Isn't that a contradiction in terms? :lol: PRICELESS!!
     
  19. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Nothin' says redneck like Tractor Pulls! I use to wear a hat that said "Take it out and Pull it!" :D
     
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