CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by beast, May 19, 2011.

  1. beast

    beast backwoodsman

    CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

    By Joshua Rhett Miller

    Published May 18, 2011


    CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse' -

    Are you prepared for the impending zombie invasion?

    That's the question posed by the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention in a Monday blog posting gruesomely titled, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." And while it's no joke, CDC officials say it's all about emergency preparation.

    "There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the posting reads. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

    The post, written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, instructs readers how to prepare for "flesh-eating zombies" much like how they appeared in Hollywood hits like "Night of the Living Dead" and video games like Resident Evil. Perhaps surprisingly, the same steps you'd take in preparation for an onslaught of ravenous monsters are similar to those suggested in advance of a hurricane or pandemic.

    "First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house," the posting continues. "This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored)."

    Related Links
    Best Car to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
    A Zombie-Proof House to Survive the Undead Apocalypse

    Other items to be stashed in such a kit include medications, duct tape, a battery-powered radio, clothes, copies of important documents and first aid supplies.

    "Once you've made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan," the posting continues. "This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your doorstep. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake or other emergency."

    The idea behind the campaign stemmed from concerns of radiation fears following the earthquake and tsunami that rocked Japan in March. CDC spokesman Dave Daigle told that someone had asked CDC officials if zombies would be a concern due to radiation fears in Japan and traffic spiked following that mention.

    "It's kind of a tongue-in-cheek campaign," Daigle said Wednesday. "We were talking about hurricane preparedness and someone bemoaned that we kept putting out the same messages."

    While metrics for the post are not yet available, Daigle said it has become the most popular CDC blog entry in just two days.

    "People are so tuned into zombies," he said. "People are really dialed in on zombies. The idea is we're reaching an audience or a segment we'd never reach with typical messages."

    Click here to read more on the "Zombie Apocalypse" at

    Read more: CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse' -
  2. beast

    beast backwoodsman

    Feds must stop writing gibberish under new law

    Feds must stop writing gibberish under new law
    Feds must stop writing gibberish under new law - Yahoo! News

    Annette Cheek AP – Annetta Cheek is interviewed by the Associated Press at her home in Bailey's Crossroads, Va., Wednesday, …
    By CALVIN WOODWARD, Associated Press – Thu May 19, 6:47 am ET

    WASHINGTON – The federal government is rolling out a new official language of sorts: plain English.

    That's right: Pursuant to regulations promulgated thereunder and commencing in accordance with a statute signed herein by President Barack Obama, the government shall be precluded from writing the pompous gibberish heretofore evidenced, to the extent practicable.

    That sentence contains 11 new language no-nos.

    Obama signed the Plain Writing Act last fall after decades of effort by a cadre of passionate grammarians in the civil service to jettison the jargon.

    It takes full effect in October, when federal agencies must start writing plainly in all new or substantially revised documents produced for the public. The government will still be allowed to write nonsensically to itself.

    Ahead then, if the law works, is a culture change for an enterprise that turns out reams of confusing benefit forms, tangled rules and foggy pronouncements. Not to mention a Pentagon brownie recipe that went on for 26 pages about "regulations promulgated thereunder," "flow rates of thermoplastics by extrusion plastometer" and a commandment that ingredients "shall be examined organoleptically."

    That means look at, smell, touch or taste.

    By July, each agency must have a senior official overseeing plain writing, a section of its website devoted to the effort and employee training under way.

    "It is important to emphasize that agencies should communicate with the public in a way that is clear, simple, meaningful and jargon-free," says Cass Sunstein, a White House information and regulation administrator who gave guidance to federal agencies in April on how to implement the law.

    Bad writing by the government, he says, discourages people from applying for benefits they should get, makes federal rules hard to follow and wastes money because of all the time spent fixing mistakes and explaining things to a baffled populace.

    But can clarity and good grammar be legislated?

    That remains to be seen. The law lacks teeth. You won't be able to sue the government for making your head spin after October. And regulations are exempted.

    Annetta Cheek, a leader of the plain language movement for much of her 27-year career in government and now chairwoman of the Center for Plain Language, says the impulse to be vague and officious is hard to overcome because federal employees tend to write with their bosses and agency lawyers in mind, not the public.

    Still, she predicts significant improvement. And she points to successes in Britain, Portugal, South Africa and elsewhere, where governments set out years ago to reinvent their communications with the public. "It's hard to find a high-level document in Sweden you can't understand," she says.

    Cheek was one of the authors of the government's guidelines for plain writing, surely one of the breeziest federal documents around. It's packed with dos and don'ts for the coming transformation.

    "Federal writers are not supposed to be creating great literature," the guidelines say. "You are communicating requirements, how to get benefits, how to stay safe and healthy, and other information to help people in their lives.

    "While there is no problem with being expressive, most federal writing has no place for literary flair. People do not curl up in front of the fire with a nice federal regulation to have a relaxing read."

    But it might be a friendlier read.

    In one striking change, the government is becoming "we" and citizens are becoming "you."

    So expect fewer statements like this:

    "Before an individual can be determined eligible for Disaster Unemployment Assistance, it must be established that the individual is not eligible for regular unemployment insurance benefits."

    And more like this:

    "You can get financial help from Disaster Unemployment Assistance if your job was lost or interrupted as a direct result of a major disaster declared by the president of the United States."

    Instead of this advice:

    "Timely preparation, including structural and non-structural mitigation measures to avoid the impacts of severe winter weather, can avert heavy personal, business and government expenditures. Experts agree that the following measures can be effective in dealing with the challenges of severe winter weather."

    Expect more like this advice:

    "Severe winter weather can be extremely dangerous. Consider these safety tips to protect your property and yourself."

    Instead of the government saying, "It is requested," expect the government to say "please."

    And "It is required" is becoming "You must." This is a favorite of the Internal Revenue Service. One of its account notices has been revised so that it now strikes completely comprehensible terror in the recipient. "What you need to do immediately," it says.

    The effort to have the government make more sense in its public dealings gained traction during the Clinton administration when Vice President Al Gore took on the task of "reinventing government." Cheek, a writer of federal regulations, became the chief plain language expert on Gore's team as it spread the gospel agency by agency, making incremental inroads until Obama signed the law.

    "Most of what the government writes has too much stuff," she says. People just want to know, "What are you doing for me today?" Or, TO me.

    The idea now is to purge a long list of words, phrases and grammatical practices that governments and lawyers love, and ordinary people don't. "Shall" is a prime target. It's seen as stuffy and obsolete.

    Begone, too, with "pursuant, "promulgated," " thereunder," "commencing," "in accordance with," "herein," "precluded," "heretofore," "evidenced" and "practicable," to name just a sampling of the no-nos.

    Some of the revisions are downright chatty.

    "Cook the stuffing separately — it's MUCH safer!" the government says in turkey guidance reworked in the Clinton era. "Measure the temperature of both the turkey and stuffing! Don't just trust a pop-up indicator!"

    But do not expect "LOL" from the feds anytime soon. Especially, of course, at the IRS.



    Federal plain language guidelines:

    Center for Plain Language: Center for Plain Language | Plain language is a civil right
  3. sarawolf

    sarawolf Monkey+++

    The problem I see with calling it Zombie Ap. he marginalizes it n so many minds. That will help people NOT take it serious.
  4. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    According to one news story I read, it is supposed to be satirical (no help there for the CDC) and a way to hit a "new" demographic. I hate to break it to these idjits, but anyone interested in the "Zombie Apocalypse" is likely a prepper of some kind, and has an emergency prep set-up going, because those folks believe in it and want to survive! Long of the short I agree with your assessment Sarawolf. Stupid publicity stunt to shill Hurricane and disaster preparedness.
  5. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    The entire flail is over some branch of dot gov showing the least of a sense of sardonic humor. Me? I'm laffin'. That said, there are a couple of pretty basic prep ideas hiding in the "humor."
  6. Hispeedal2

    Hispeedal2 Nay Sayer

    I found it a bit funny. Will it change anyone's mind? Nah. Just like Falcon said ^, those interested are the ones already prepping.

    I say give them an A for effort and a B- for creativity (it was used by the Zombie Survival Guide franchise first).
    Falcon15 likes this.
  7. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Agreed. It is no doubt a satirical, hyped-up ploy of some kind. Not too many folks take real zombies seriously (Hollywood type) thankfully. However, the term "zombie" can be loosely applied to the mindless drones of society, absent the slow shuffle, hunger for human flesh and diseased bites of course. I can see a large number of preppers taking a once-over of their inventory for Saturday, but beyond this, only the fanatical religious types will be praying in abject fear over the end times.

    I double checked my own reserves, I plan to head to the grocery store to pick up a few gallons of distilled water. Nothing will come of this, but I know it is always better to be prepared than to be left wanting.

    Freaking media.
    Falcon15 likes this.
  8. UGRev

    UGRev Get on with it!

    They can make fun of us all they want.. those that laugh will be beggars at some point. You can't convince an entire populace to think that the gov't is the end all and be all.
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