Have y'all seen this?? LMAO! http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/downloads/downloads.asp apologies if it's already been posted...... I just saw it this morning...
New Texas Law - WASHINGTON, D.C. - A White House source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President Dick Cheney the Medal of Freedom, the national highest civilian commendation, for his act of bravery in shooting an attorney. The source was quoted as saying, " All Americans have wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another, and Cheney actually had the balls to do it". In a related story, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which issues hunting licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters, wishing to bag a lawyer, to have the new "lawyer's stamp" on their hunting license. Currently Texas hunters are required to carry stamps for hunting birds, deer, and bear, at a cost of $7 annually. The new "lawyers stamp" will cost $100, but open season will be all year long. The department further stated that although the "lawyers stamp" comes at hefty price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate annual revenues in excess of $3 billion dollars the first year. Several other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.
I have sources that are telling me that the Legislative Council is currently drafting an important bill for the Special Session.... "Regulations For Hunting Attorneys" SEC. 370.00 370.01 Any person with a valid in state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non commercial) purposes. 370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited. 370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash. 370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft. 370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys. 370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon. 370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels. 370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same. 370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. 370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day: Yellow bellied sidewinders, 2 Two faced tortfeasors, 1; ! Back stabbing divorce litigators, 3 Horn rimmed cut throats, 2 Minutiae advocating dirtbags, 4 Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act). 370.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the kill site.
