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Classy old insults

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Allen, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. Allen

    Allen Monkey+

    Found this floating around years ago.
    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"--Winston Chirchill
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure"__Clarence Darrow
    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary"--William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway
    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it"--Groucho Marx
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it"--Mark Twain
    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends"-- Oscar Wilde
    "I'm enclosing two tickets to the first night of my play; bring a friend..if you have one."--George Bernard Shaw to Winston Chirchill, the reply to which was "Cannot possibly attend the first night, will attend the second, if there is one".
    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here"--Stephen Bishop
    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator"--John Bright
    "I've just learned of his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial"--Irvin S. Cobb
    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others"--Samuel Johnson
    "He's had delusions of adequancy"--Walter Kerr
    "Some cause happiness whereever they go; others whenever they go"--Oscar Wilde
    Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Chirchill at a dinner party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee" to which he replied "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it"
    A simple one that I use at work is "I didn't think you were that stupid, my bad"
  2. SemperDoc

    SemperDoc Monkey+

    Ain't talking 'bout me are ya ??? Huh, huh, .
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