Creative Thinking...(or: Why I want to be an illegal alien)

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes 309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
    the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine
    the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to
    you. My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
    illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the
    Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
    provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
    United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen
    is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five

    I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process
    started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who
    have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm
    excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five
    years taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that
    I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
    excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
    2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings approximating $72,000.
    After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000. In
    addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien
    such as free healthcare, avoidance of paying Social Security t axes,
    buying automobile insurance, serving on jury panels, etc.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
    illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
    forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
  2. TnAndy

    TnAndy Senior Member Founding Member

    Ain't THAT the damn truth !
survivalmonkey SSL seal warrant canary