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Customer Survey...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Nov 19, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    an oldie...but cracked me up when I saw it again... :D





    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.

    In order to protect your new investment; please take a few moments to
    fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
    questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
    new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. [_] Mr.
    [_] Mrs.
    [_] Ms.
    [_] Miss
    [_] Lt.
    [_] Gen.
    [_] Comrade
    [_] Classified
    [_] Other

    First Name: .....................................................
    Initial: ........
    Last Name......................................................
    Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
    Code Name:......................................................
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........

    2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified

    3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....... /....... /......

    4. Serial Number: ...............................................

    5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
    [_] Received as gift / aid package
    [_] Catalogue / showroom
    [_] Independent arms broker
    [_] Mail order
    [_] Discount store
    [_] Government surplus
    [_] Classified

    6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
    product you have just purchased:
    [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
    [_] Store display
    [_] Espionage
    [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
    [_] Was attacked by one

    7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
    decision
    to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    [_] Style / appearance
    [_] Speed / manoeuvrability
    [_] Price / value
    [_] Comfort / convenience
    [_] Kickback / bribe
    [_] Recommended by salesperson
    [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
    [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
    [_] Backroom politics
    [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
    [_] North America
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Aircraft carrier
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Europe
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
    [_] Panama
    [_] Africa
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Asia / Far East
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Misc. Third World countries
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Classified
    [_] Iraq

    9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
    purchase in the near future:
    [_] Colour TV
    [_] VCR
    [_] ICBM
    [_] Killer Satellite
    [_] CD Player
    [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
    [_] Space Shuttle
    [_] Home Computer
    [_] Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Indicate
    all that apply:)
    [_] Communist / Socialist
    [_] Terrorist
    [_] Crazed
    [_] Nice Person
    [_] Democratic
    [_] Dictatorship
    [_] Corrupt
    [_] Primitive / Tribal

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    [_] Deficit spending
    [_] Cash
    [_] Suitcases of cocaine
    [_] Oil revenues
    [_] Personal check
    [_] Credit card
    [_] Ransom money
    [_] Traveller's check

    12. Your occupation:
    [_] Homemaker
    [_] Sales / marketing
    [_] Revolutionary
    [_] Clerical
    [_] Mercenary
    [_] Tyrant
    [_] Middle management
    [_] Eccentric billionaire
    [_] Defence Minister / General
    [_] Retired
    [_] Work At Post Office

    Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
    will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
    better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
    special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and
    mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will
    be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our War Not Peace Sweepstakes!
     
  2. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    I didn't have to buy one. I got one from a mail in coupon on the back of my 'Terrorist Barbie Playset'. It only took $30 and a can of spam, with the UPC also of course. :D
     
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