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Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Motomom34, Jun 13, 2019.

  1. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    This is a Grandfatherism
    "What the Hell are you doing on that horse!'

    I was always riding some horse he told me not too.
  2. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    My uncle Mack

    You came into this world with your name and your word if your word is bad so is your name I live by that to this day he told me that two days before I left for boot camp 17 years old then.
    Motomom34, techsar, Ganado and 4 others like this.
  3. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Makes me think of out family car when I was young, just a few years after the Seattle World's Fair. Dad bought a 1959 Ford, I don't know which model other than it was a 4 door sedan. The engine was nothing to speak of and while keeping his eyes out for a replacement a local police car crashed and was totaled. Dad bought the engine which turned out to be the 352 HP Interceptor (!) and swapped motors. It was a total sleeper.

    The only problem was that he was going through tires like crazy. He couldn't figure it out at the time, but we found out later my older brothers were driving the snot out of including competing in drag races at Woodburn when he thought they were borrowing the car to see their friends after school. Wish I had that bad boy if nothing but for the memories of many, many family trips and vacations.
    arleigh, Motomom34, techsar and 2 others like this.
  4. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    I caught my daughter telling me a lie one day when she was about 10. I told her pretty much the same thing,, and my grandpa told it to me. And I think it’s pretty much carried the both of us thru to this day.
    Motomom34, Bishop, techsar and 2 others like this.
  5. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Perhaps you would like something you can't rub off?
    techsar, Zimmy, oldawg and 2 others like this.
  6. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    You Kill It, You Eat It!
    Quit eatin with your hands!
    You break it, you fix it!
    That lawn ain't gonna mow it's self!
    DO NOT Blame the Damn Dog, you did it, you pay for it!
    Close the Damn Door, your Lettin the Flies out!
    Were you born in a Barn?
    Motomom34, techsar, oldawg and 2 others like this.
  7. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    You are Burn’en DayLight....
  8. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Dad started in with that the morning after we saw The Cowboys at the drive in...
    techsar, Ura-Ki and Gator 45/70 like this.
  9. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    You can rest when your dead...Time to go to work!
    Motomom34, techsar, Meat and 4 others like this.
  10. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    I heard that one OFTEN. usually related to one or another field and a "B" Allis Chalmers utility tractor with crank start only and drawbar hook up. Seems Pop was the only one allowed within spitting distance of his Case o matic.
  11. Zimmy

    Zimmy Wait, I'm not ready! Site Supporter++

    "Are you trying to air condition the whole world!?!" (Close the door)
    Gator 45/70, Motomom34 and techsar like this.
  12. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    This one is familiar!
    Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  13. Close the door. Were you born in a barn? Yep. And every time I hear a jack ass bray I get homesick. (Mom could get away with this, I couldn't.)
    Gator 45/70, Motomom34 and techsar like this.
  14. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    Where did you leave YOUR tape measure this time?
    Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  15. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    You better not start it but you dam well better finish it

    My mom
  16. Zimmy

    Zimmy Wait, I'm not ready! Site Supporter++

    Doing that (getting ready to do something I wasn't supposed to) will make your ass hurt.
  17. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    My dad did a lot of reminiscing but didn't do much preaching . We worked together like brothers and knew one another moves.
    He had several saying he wrote down one of which .
    "Do your givin while your livin so your knowin where it's goin ."
    Zimmy, Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  18. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    My dad gave me three pieces of 'advice' when I joined up

    1) Keep a uniform in the laundry - I took that to mean having a spotless uniform to wear if called to see the CO.

    2) If you put your fatigues under the mattress at night they will look god in the morning - I just bought a travel iron and ironed my outfit before I hit the rack.

    3) Never argue with a man carrying a loaded machine gun. - OK, that's just straight up good advice.
    Zimmy, Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  19. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Close the door........Your letting the fly's out !!!!!!!!!
    Zimmy likes this.
  20. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    Before I left for boot camp

    My dad did not say goodbye

    Don't get a tattoo so I didn't

    I got eleven
    Zimmy, Ganado and Gator 45/70 like this.
  1. Meat
  2. Yard Dart
  3. Bishop
    [img] [MEDIA]
    Thread by: Bishop, Feb 7, 2019, 6 replies, in forum: Back to Basics
  4. Motomom34
  5. Thunder5Ranch
  6. Asia-Off-Grid
  7. 3M-TA3
  8. DarkLight
  9. Seacowboys
  10. Meat
  11. BTPost
  12. chelloveck
  13. UncleMorgan
  14. TXKajun
  15. Motomom34
  16. Mountain mama
  17. Yard Dart
  18. CATO
  19. DarkLight
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